


Let the ocean set you free.

by ESH_es



Series: Two sides of paradise [4]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Beaches, F/M, Fluff, LA, Sea, Smut, Vacation, a tiny sprinkle of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27277714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ESH_es/pseuds/ESH_es
Summary: Leaving New York behind, Chloe and Lucifer finally allow themselves to just be - despite the turbulences that have shaken their lives up the past few months.Fluff ensues.This work is set right after the events of  "Untangling the knots".
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Trixie Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Two sides of paradise [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829833
Comments: 123
Kudos: 160





	1. Sand, salt and seaweed

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back peeps! 
> 
> As promised, something light and fluffy to take the edge of the angst that I have put in front of you in the last three works! 
> 
> I am not sure how long this is going to be yet, because I am not finished with it yet, but it won’t be as long as either of the first two parts^^
> 
> I will update every Friday until I have finished the first draft - I will go back to updating in a three day interval once I am done! 
> 
> If you want more information on updates or you just wanna come by and say hi, I am on instagram @esh_es_writes
> 
> To all American readers who are old enough to vote - please go and vote. Just… do yourselves a favour and do!  
> On that account - the discussion is waning, but Black lives still matter! Brown lives still matter! Indigenous lives still matter! People of Colour still matter! Let’s not let the wave of change recede just because there is less social media and media coverage! And let’s celebrate Black joy and melanated voices and works while we are at it! 
> 
> As always sending my love out to my wonderful beta! 
> 
> I am looking forward to hear from you peeps in the comments! 
> 
> As always, if there is anything you feel like you want to add or remark - let me know in the comments! 
> 
> Sending you so much love, peeps, I missed you incredibly over the past month! 
> 
> ESH
> 
> Playlist for this series:  Two sides of Paradise 

> “For whatever we lose
> 
> (like a you or a me)
> 
> It’s always ourselves
> 
> we find in the sea.”
> 
> -E.E.Cummings

The air buzzed with the sounds of trolleys and people, a too loud humming in Chloe’s ear. Her own suitcase in hand and Lucifer’s hand in the other they maneuvered their way through the crowds lingering at the arrival hall of LAX.

Their flight down to LA had been filled with four of the six hours by a crying child and a snoring man next to her, who to her great disappointment hadn’t been Lucifer. She had wished it was him, because then she could’ve at least woken him with a slight shove into his side. But it would also have meant that he finally would have gotten some sleep, because since Michael had flown home a few days ago, he had been filled with restless energy, that was taking turns with bone deep exhaustion that seemed to linger in his bones. She didn’t know what the deal with his brother had been, but something must have happened, even if Lucifer brushed her off with an “It’s fine, love. Nothing’s wrong.”

So, the snoring man hadn’t been the latter, but she had hours of a tense and grumpy boyfriend next to her, whose leg was jumping up and down in annoyance as he sent the man next to her glares that could have killed had the unfortunate guy noticed them.

Lucifer’s thumb brushed across her knuckles, while Chloe stretched her neck to peer over the mass of people.

“Where are they?”, she murmured, her bag heavy on her back as one of the straps was slipping down her shoulder. She couldn’t even reach up and adjust it, too occupied with not losing Lucifer or her trolley.

“I am sure they will show up any second, Detective.”

Despite the amusement coloring his voice, there was an underlying strain that was impossible to be missed. If it was only the flight or the situation in general, she didn’t know. After all, he had expressed his relief to be off that _hellhole of transportation_ very thoroughly once they had picked up their luggage.

“Patience.”

She jutted her lower lip forward in a pout that made it clear where her daughter had gotten her award worthy puppy face from. It was impossible to miss the way Lucifer’s features shifted into something so fond that it took her breath away.

“I know. But it’s been so long.”

“I know, love.”

Only then she let go of Lucifer’s hand for the first time since they had grabbed their luggage from the conveyor to grab her phone from her back pocket. Goosebumps travelled along her spine at the acclimatized air that brushed along her upper arms. She was positive she would suffer a heat stroke as soon as they took a step outside of LAX. And if she didn’t, then Lucifer certainly would.

The latter’s hand brushed along her shoulder, down to her hand, silently urging to let him take her suitcase and she let go of the handle willingly. Now she could finally adjust that stubborn strap.

“Besides, the urchin will exhilarated anyhow and cling to you for an hour at the least.”

She threw him a quick glance, unable to suppress the disbelieving chuckle that escaped her throat.

“You are just jealous that she will hug me to death first.”

Lucifer scoffed, his gaze searching the crowd and Chloe marveled at how he could look this relaxed and unbothered after six hours of flight and with two suitcases in his hands, along with a bag slung across his chest.

“Don’t be preposterous. I am quite fond of air as you can imagine.”

Her snort couldn’t have been avoided even if she had tried. And he had been the one to ask her whether she was into choking. Her thumb continued her search through her contacts.

“Trixie reaches up to your hip, Lucifer”, she deadpanned, finally finding her mom’s contact.

His pause was filled with the overwhelming rush of passengers and suitcases and cab drivers.

“Yes, well. Metaphorically speaking”, he amended, “How am I supposed to-“

“MOMMY!”

Her phone had slipped into her pocket before she could register it as her heart widened in relief at her daughter’s shout. Her baby was dragging her Mom by the hand through the crowd only to tear herself loose and to sprint towards her. Without thinking she dropped to her knees, the bag slipping down her arm and opened her arms wide only for a bundle of exhilaration – Lucifer had been right – to collide with her body. Oh, how had she missed her. Holding her daughter tightly to her body she swayed her, breathed in her scent and relished in the way she clung to her, her giggles vibrating in her ear as she started ranting about the camp she had visited.

“I missed you so much, Monkey”, she whispered and chuckled as Trixie abruptly paused in her ramblings, before grinning into the crook of her neck.

“I missed you too, Mommy”, she said, exhaling a small breath and for a moment she was content to just hold her, ignoring Lucifer greeting her mother, ignoring the people around her and just basked in holding her child to her chest. Her curls smelled like salt and were damp against her skin.

“Were you at the beach with Nana?”, she mumbled and smiled as Trixie nodded with a giggle.

“She was a little mad at me, because I didn’t want to get out and we had to hurry to the airport.”

Chloe shook her head with a fond smile as she pulled back. she hadn’t been very different as a child. She couldn’t count the times her Dad had had to pull her out of the sea to get her ready for some event they had to accompany Mom to.

“Monkey”, even trying her hardest she couldn’t bring herself to sound as admonishing as she should, “next time you listen to Nana, alright?”

“Yeah”, Trixie grinned with a shrug and Chloe couldn’t help the way her lips curled in fondness she let the back of her fingers brush along her daughter’s cheek.

Trix leaned into the contact for a second, before she w whirled around and Chloe had to winced at the ear splitting “LUCIFER!” that shot out of her mouth. She felt her cheeks heat up at the horrified gaze of an elderly couple. Yes, her daughter was just about to launch herself at Satan. Welcome to her life.

Lucifer turned away from her mother at her kid’s shout, the suitcases safely parked and in the same instant that Trixie had attached herself to his hips, his hands embraced her gently as if she was one of the most precious things he had ever held in his hands. Something painful melted out of his expression and the softness he regarded her daughter with stole her breath.

_Then I look at you, look at Beatrice I can’t help but_ wish _that we could have that._

His fingers carded through her dark hair with a tenderness they played the piano with as he looked down at her.

“Hello there, urchin”, his rumble was swallowed by crowd, “I take it I have been missed?”

She tilted her head up at him and Chloe’s heart pounded in her chest at the smile he gave her. She grinned a toothy grin and squinted up at him.

“I know _you_ missed me. You said so yourself on the phone.”

When he had come after they had fought, the night he had nearly had a relapse he had called her daughter to tell her he missed her. She couldn’t even find it in her to be mad at him for waking her munchkin early.

_My battery gave out on me while talking to the urchin._

He snorted, “You are the most perceptive little parasite, child. But I suppose I did. Miss you that is.”

“I know”, she giggled and eventually separated herself from him. Chloe had to chuckle at the flicker of disappointment that hurried across his face. He had come a long way from “ _Watch your step hellspawn_.”

“Did you just Han Solo me?”, he sounded affronted as he caught up on what she was saying.

Trixie paused, tilting her head adorably. “What?”

“She hasn’t seen Star Wars”, Chloe hurried to say and nearly giggled as his crestfallen expression.

“No?”

She shook her head with an apologetic smile as if it was something to be sorry for that her eight-year-old hadn’t seen Star Wars.

“Well, never mind then, urchin.”

Chloe rolled her eyes with a grin, before she rose to her feet to greet her Mom, walking into her outstretched arms.

“Hey Mom”, she said into her hair, her perfume a familiar scent enveloping her, “thank you for picking us up.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, pumpkin. It’s always a treat to have such lovely company. Besides, the charge they want for a cab is appalling.”

“True”, Chloe let go of her mother, “Dan is working?”

“Yes, the department needed him a day sooner than he expected. But lucky for you, I had the day off anyhow. So, let’s get the two of you to your honeymoon location”, her mother winked, brushing her delicately styled hair back and Chloe couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious at her ratty ponytail.

“Mom”, she groaned, but when she turned to Lucifer, who grinned with her with an excitement that had been missing for a while the words died in her throat.

“Let’s go”, she said instead with a smile spreading on her lips as she reached for her suitcase, ignoring Lucifer’s quiet sound of protest and caught Trixie’s small hand in hers.

“Come on, Monkey.”

Her daughter grinned at her, absentmindedly reaching for Lucifer’s hand as well.

“How is Maze?”, her brown eyes gazed up at her with the honest curiosity of a child, meanwhile a flustered six foot three man stared at their hands, obviously at loss of what to do. Meanwhile her mother lead them through the crowd with a confidence rooted in years of acting experience.

His eyes flickering between Trixie and her, he tried to get Chloe’s attention, but really? He would manage holding an eight year old’s hand just fine.

“Maze is doing great actually”, she said, before shrugging and mouthing, _just go with it._

He rolled his eyes and she answered with a wink that had a smirk blooming on his lips.

Finally having arranged himself with the fact that the he wouldn’t get his hand back before they were at the car, he fell into step with them, chiming in with his quips as mother and daughter caught up with what happened over the past few weeks.

“And I was at camp and I made something for you, Mom!”, Trixie beamed at her and Chloe smiled, squeezing her hand tighter.

“That’s amazing, Monkey! I can’t wait to see it.”

“I think you’ll like it.”

“I am sure I will love it”, she assured her daughter, cursing at the suitcase in her other hand that kept her from brushing across her tousled hair.

Trixie’s eyes twinkled up at her, her mouth a toothy grin, her expression turning pleading.

“Can we-“

“Still no Golden Retriever, urchin. Don’t even start”, Lucifer heaved a sigh as he looked down at her and for a moment she looked crestfallen, but eventually shrugged.

“I know. Daddy said no, too.”

  
“Oh, I can’t fathom why.”

Chloe was about to glare at him above her Monkey’s head, but the latter already continued, “I wanted to ask whether I could swing again?”  
  


Chloe laughed – it didn’t matter what the scale said – her ever growing monkey would always stay her little kid inside.

“I don’t know, Monkey, I’m not sure whether I am strong enough for that.”

“But Mommy, we have Lucifer.”

“That’s true, though”, and he had definitely demonstrated his strength on more than one occasion. Chloe let out a deep breath in order to calm herself the hell down. They had sex before they had gotten to the airport – using the Trixie devoid apartment to their advantage. She had made it through years of abstinence, she would manage a day just fine.

“What swinging are we talking about?”

Lucifer stared at them with a puzzlement on his features that could only be described as comical, but Trixie was already explaining.

“I hold your and Mommy’s hand and then I jump and you lift me up, so I can jump like super far. Like cat woman.”

“Ah, I see”, Lucifer said, while Chloe stumbled across the last word.

“What – Monkey, when have you watched cat woman?”

She looked at her with brown eyes wide in innocence.

“Daddy had an appointment and I could have his phone and watch a movie on it. And Maze said it’s a good movie.”

Chloe nodded, mouth slightly agape as she frowned, trying to think of how to phrase it, without outing her insistent suspicions in Maze’s definition of child appropriate. 

“Monkey, Maze is an adult. You still need to ask me or daddy for permission on whether you can watch the film.”

Trixie sighed, but nodded nevertheless. “Okay, Mommy. But it _was_ a cool film!”

“It sure was”, she said, “Still. Not age appropriate.”

“Right, concerning the swinging thing”, Lucifer chimed in, “You wanna knock yourself out, urchin?”

“Yes!”, Trixie beamed up at him and Chloe couldn’t help herself as a smile spread across her lips.

“Right then, let’s see how this works.” And with the most concentrated expression she had ever seen him sport he lifted a giggling Trixie up in the air as she jumped. Her arm ached at the additional weight, while Lucifer held her without even breaking into sweat.

Her daughter’s feet set onto the ground again and she let out a little squeal of delight.

“Again! Please, Lucifer! Again!”

The grin he sent her little girl matched the one of her face as he nodded. Chloe could feel the soreness of her muscles already.

The heat outside in one of the parking spaces of LAX hit them with the intensity of a blast, the muscle in his jaw ticking as his eyes bulged.

“I am _not_ made for this”, he said, his expression dreading and Chloe could have laughed at how pitiful he looked.

It was searing today, but her skin sighed in relief. It hadn’t been too hard to adjust herself to the cooler weather in New York, but now that she was back home it felt like she had been freezing for forever.

“I take the angel comment back”, he suddenly stared at her in bewilderment as she grinned in happiness, “You’ve got to be coming straight out of hell if you are actually content in such temperatures.”

Chloe threw her head back as she snickered, rolling her eyes.

“How charming of you, Mister Morningstar.”

“Ah, you two”, her mother was gushing from behind them, “such a lovely pair, but let’s get to the car before we are melting away.”

She shooed them along, with Trixie skipping ahead. Lucifer’s hand found hers, tangled his sweaty fingers with her, he only shrugged when she drew a playful grimace.

“You are stuck with me, sorry love.”

He squeezed her hand tighter.

“Oh, poor me”, she smiled as she stretched to meet his lips messily, nearly tripping over her feet, making Lucifer snicker.

With a pout she withdrew her hand and hurried along to catch up with her Monkey, squeaking as he swatted her butt.

“Lucifer!”

* * *

Penelope was speeding along the winded highway, chatting with the Detective in the front seat, while the urchin was rambling on and him trying the best to keep up with all she told him. How she had won a plushie at Santa Monica Pier, how she had been at the beach with Daniel the Douche countless times, snorkeling along fish and diving for shells. About how she had been meeting up with her friends and they had played a reinstalment of H2O - Just water. About the camp where she had made a necklace out of a shell for her mother as she whispered quietly into his ear. His eyes flickered to Chloe laughing about something in the front seat and he had to smile.

“She will love it”, he murmured loud enough for the child to hear and the brilliant grin she sent him made him smile. The glitter of the ocean along the cliff caught his eye and even though he was listening with half an ear his mind caught at the waves lapping on the shore, at how the sun caught in the lines of foam and the tumbling water, turquoise mingling with deep blue and it took him right back to Cape Town. Maze would love LA.

“Look, the sea!”, the urchin told him with an excitement only a child could possess and he let himself be tugged towards the window. He caught Chloe smiling at them over her shoulder and he couldn’t help how his features softened at it, before his attention turned back to the window. Whatever had still constricted his chest eased at the sight of never ending blue.

“My eyesight has yet to fail me, urchin”, he teased her and she just rolled her eyes.

“You are your mother’s daughter, there is no doubt in that”, he sighed, an amused smile curling his lips, but fell silent as the child next to him did as they observed the ocean stretching itself wide in front of them. The child’s hair smelled like sand, salt and seaweed and he exhaled a slow breath. This vacation would be pleasant aside from the fact that he would indeed die from a heat stroke after five minutes in the sun. He bloody well knew why he moved to New York instead of California.

They halted in the driveway of the Malibu beach house Chloe’s mother owned and the place they would be taking residence in for the next two weeks. They had made the arrangement before Michael had informed him over his newly acquired wealth and Chloe had outright refused to let herself be spoiled by him for them to stay at a five star hotel, the stubborn woman.

The urchin had dashed out of the car before the engine had even gotten killed and rushed towards the front door as he had barely managed to unbuckle himself and maneuver himself and his long legs out of the back seat. The heat still seeped deep into his bones, but he paid the sweat that had already begun to collect at his temple no mind as he bowed over the open door to catch the Detective’s lips, who had just gotten out of the passenger seat. His mouth swallowed the little surprised, but nevertheless content sound that left her throat. He basked in the smell of her perfume – mild and fresh in his nose – before he pulled away.

“What was that for?”, she mumbled, her mouth curling into a gentle smile.

“Mhm, just for you being you, Detective.”

“You’re not too bad yourself, Satan”, she grinned with a soft shake of her head, pecking his lips another time and he couldn’t stop his lids from sliding shut and lingering in her touch.

“Stop making out and come _on!_ ”

Lucifer heaved a sigh, cracking a lid open, “She has impeccable timing, hasn’t she?”

Chloe just snorted a laugh, patted his shoulder in a mockery of compassion and rounded the car. He rolled his eyes as she threw a wink over her shoulder. She would definitely be the end of him. He slammed the door of the car shut and made his way over to the boot to get the suitcases out. Finally having them both in a firm grip he made his way down the path to the cottage, cream façade and wide windows with the blinds let down. The grass near the entrance was dry and brown, a few long weeds hemmed the door. The cottage had access to the sea as far as he could tell and it did put a smile onto his face. The urchin had already dragged her mother and grandmother into the house, door wide open for Lucifer to step over the threshold.

The inside was open, was light and setting down the luggage with a soft thump he took in the place they would be staying in for the next two weeks. Light fell through a few open blinds of what had to be the windows facing north of the cottage. The smell of wood and sea clung to the walls along with the slight tinge of burnt pancakes. The kitchen was spacious in comparison to the ones in New York, a pan’s handle peeked out of a bath of foam.

“I did try myself at pancakes”, Penelope called from the living room towards the Detective that had raised her brows in question, “you could say I failed somewhat at it.”

Lucifer snorted, because if that wasn’t the truth he didn‘t know what was. The place was as the apartment back in New York was – homey. Cosy. Not something he was used from back at _home_ – back in Wales, but something he liked very much. The cream sofa lingered invitingly on the wooden floor, while plants had found their way into the inside carried by brown and glazed pots. The urchin had already darted off into what must be her room on the left only to shoot out again, a necklace dangling in her hands that she hid behind her back.

“Mommy, you need to close your eyes!”, she demanded halting in front of her mother, vibrating with energy.

“I need to close my eyes?”, the Detective asked, surprised even though a knowing smile danced along her lips, “why?”

“Yes and you just need to. Come on, Mom.”

“Okay, okay”, she mumbled, complying.

“And stretch out your hands.”

Chloe held out her hands, forming a bowl before Beatrice dropped her gift into her hands. Lucifer moved across the room to come to rest behind her. His body yearned to reach out and hold her, but this was her daughter’s moment, he decided.

“Can I open them?”, she asked, unconsciously leaning back into his warmth, even though he was sweating his face off already.

“Yep!”

The urchin stared up at her mother with wide and hopeful eyes and Lucifer felt the urge to nudge Chloe in the side to tell her she _needed_ to like the necklace.

“Monkey”, the latter said, voice warm and awed as her fingers played with the tulip shell, the windings shimmering in tainted lilac as it was strung up on a thin leather cord, “It’s beautiful!”

“I found the shell when I was at the beach with Daddy and we made necklaces at camp. I think it’s big enough so you can put it over your head!”

Chloe nodded, glancing back at him with her eyes shining with happiness and his heart melted at her expression.

“Thank you, Monkey”, she beamed as she kneeled down, “Come here.”

With that she enveloped her daughter in her arms, rocking back and forth. The urchin grinned at Lucifer over her mother’s shoulders and he sent her a wink. He had told her she would love it. Separating from each other Chloe slipped the necklace over her head, her fingers still playing with the shell attached to it, before she rose to her feet.

Penelope regarded them with a wide smile on her lips, releasing a dreamy sigh.

“You are so sweet, my darlings, but –“, she pulled her phone out of her jeans – Lucifer couldn’t fathom how she could wear them in the California heat, “I need to head off. I have prepared your old room, pumpkin and the towels are in the other shelf, but I am sure you will find them. You three have a wonderful two weeks – I will stop by before you leave!”

She leaned forward to press a kiss to Chloe’s cheek.

“Thank you, Mom”, she said, lightly hugging her, “Have fun with your project and greet George from me.”

Lucifer raised his eyebrow in question at that. _George?_ He mouthed at her and she murmured “Producer”, towards him.

“I will, dear. Lucifer –“

“Penelope. The place is lovely and I cannot thank you enough for letting us stay”, he leaned towards her to press two kisses to her cheeks, one left, one right.

“Oh, you flatter me”, she made a dismissive gesture, “and you are very welcome.”

“Nonsense”, he murmured, pulling away.

“I will”, she bowed down to hug the urchin to her chest, “Goodbye Trixie, dear. Be good for your Mom.”

“Yep! Bye, Nana!”

Greetings were exchanged, before Chloe’s mother bustled out of the door and left the house to the three of them.

“We should carry our stuff upstairs”, the Detective said, brushing past him to take her suitcase, but he nudged her away and bowed down to grip both handles, sending her a warning glare.

“I can carry it-“

“Yourself, yes. But what kind of partner would I be if I let my girlfriend drag her luggage herself?”

She opened her mouth to retort something, her lips opening and closing helplessly while her fingers came up to toy with her new necklace.

“Not a decent one, you are right”, he continued cheerfully, “So come on then, Detective lead the way.” He nodded towards the staircase and suppressed a grin as she squinted her eyes in annoyance at him but turned to make sure he would find the right room anyhow.

“We’ll be back in a minute, babe!”, she called towards the urchin’s room that she had disappeared in again.

“Can we go to the beach later?”, was all that came back as acknowledgement that she had heard them.

Her voice was stifled by the wall between them and all he could think was that as long as she didn’t ask him for a puppy again, he would be ready to fulfill her every desire.

“Sure! You can pack your bag already!”, Chloe said as she made her way up the stairs

“Okay!”

And with that they made it up the staircase to the next level of the cottage, along a hallway that would be flooded with light were the blinds open. Instead only dots of sun had found their way through the gaps of the blinds. Chloe pushed a door to their left open and let him pass her.

The room was considerably bigger than the shoebox of her room back in New York. Curtains concealed the wide window facing towards the sea, a dresser in front of it. The double bed nestled itself into the corner of the room and the wooden floor underneath her feet creaked as she made it over to said bed and sunk down on the mattress, while he set down the suitcases at the foot of a wardrobe. On the green walls pictures concealed a part of the tapestry. One of them was an admittedly not too awful Bangles poster, while the other showed the vast expanse of the sea, next to it a portray of an officer – a reassuring smile on a friendly face. Lucifer tilted his head as he took a step closer. He seemed familiar. Something about it spoke to him, as if he had seen this man somewhere already. Where had he –

“That’s my Dad”, Chloe spoke up and he turned just to see her staring at the picture of her father, because of course it was her father. Her eyes crinkled just the same way as his did in the photograph, even though hers shimmered with shallow grief in them. A grief of having lost her Dad and his chest constricted. A part of him knew what it felt like to have his Dad ripped from him – even if it wasn’t death yet, Caelum had stolen his father already years ago.

“Oh”, he said, a little unsure, before he made his way over to her, settling next to her on the bed. She leaned into him automatically, seeking out his body and he sagged into the contact. He could never get enough of her as if he was addicted to her mere touch. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

“I am sure he would be proud of you”, he said, clearing his throat. How could anyone be less then proud of her? She turned to look at him, a tremulous smile on her lips as she stretched to capture his lips in a kiss.

“ _Thank you_ ”, she whispered against his mouth and he swallowed the words, by sealing their lips again. Addicted indeed. His hand found her waist, pulling her closer to him, despite the fact that he was probably sticky with sweat. Her mouth made him melt anyhow and he couldn’t stop the low sigh that escaped his throat as he sneaked his tongue across the barrier of her lips.

“Lucifer”, she managed to mumble, but he just held her closer, unwilling to let her go. She smiled into the kiss, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards and he wanted to bask in her joy, but she patted his chest, her small hands shifting against his muscles.

“Come on”, she giggled breathlessly, when she finally managed to pull away, ignoring the low whine that escaped his lips, “Let’s get ready. The beach is waiting.”


	2. Sometimes it's good to be a dreamer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After arriving at the the beach cottage, Chloe, Lucifer and Trixie head down to the beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning peeps!
> 
> For those of you, who have heard about the attack on Vienna and haven't seen either my IG story or my endnote to the last chapter - me and my family and friends are all safe and sound! 
> 
> Yes, it was a terrorist attack executed by the IS, a political extremist organisation and while my heart and love goes out to everybody affected by the attack and I sincerely hope that everybody reading this and their families are alright, I want to encourage you direct some love at muslims in your life and give them some extra TLC, they can be gravely affected by displaced hatred and discrimination in times like this. We will get through this together and for us to get through this we need to separate the religion of Islam from the responsible party for such terrorist attacks. 
> 
> Anyhow, that being said I really like this chapter myself - even though I am majorly struggling with writing fluff. Apparently there isn't enough pain for me to process XD. 
> 
> Without further do - I hope you are all safe and sound!
> 
> Lots of love

“What do you mean a hat? Why on earth would I wear such a dreadful thing?”

Chloe closed her eyes in exasperation, before exchanging a look with her munchkin that had already dutifully pulled on her pink baseball cap – the bill a little crooked on her small head.

“Because a heat stroke is a thing and you having dark hair is definitely not helpful”, he rolled his eyes at her and his gaze fell to the bottle of sun screen in her hand, “And don’t you dare protest against this”, she shook the bottle demonstratively, “I will firstly, not spend the rest of my day at the hospital because you are too stubborn to wear a hat in California summer midday sun and secondly, I will not listen to you whine the rest of the holiday, because your skin is peeling itself off and because you look like a lobster.”

His slightly horrified expression at the mention of flaking and lobster skin would have been hilarious hadn’t he been refusing to listen to her for the last five minutes. She glared at him, holding out the sun screen, but all he did was squint back at her and she was close to throwing up her arms and walk out without him.

“Lucifer”, her Monkey piped up, “you need to wear sun screen. Last time I didn’t wear one it hurt for _days_.”

He simply raised his eyebrows in question as if he wanted to ask her why the hell he should care.

“Lucifer”, Chloe said and really, she couldn’t believe she had to say this, “if you can’t wear sun protection, you will not come to the beach with us, but need to stay home.”

She sent him what was the best Mom-glare she had ever glared, which had even Trixie ducking as if she was expecting to be scolded. Crossing her arms in front of her chest she lifted an eyebrow as he just narrowed his eyes as if he needed to check whether she was serious. She was so very close to beheading him, but instead she did her best to take deep breaths and count to ten, over and over inside her head.

Lucifer pursed his lips in contemplation, eying her from the corner of his sight, his head cocked slightly.

“Really?”, his question seemed timid with him checking the waters.

“Really”, she nodded, her voice hard and stern and not at all wavering at his imitation of a kicked puppy.

Lifting his brows he tried again, but when she only pursed her lips in annoyance he let out a gust of air.

“Fine. Bloody sun screen it is.”

“And about –“

“Yes”, he said, a little snappish, “I will wear that stupid monstrosity. Shush now.”

Chloe grinned at Trixie that grinned up at her. Mom-glare for the win. She would count this as a success on all bases. She made her way over to the kitchen counter that she had thrown the hat on after nearly giving her argument up, but not without brushing across her daughter’s hair.

“Well done, Mommy!”, Trixie whispered towards her.

Lucifer’s head snapped up from where he had been putting the white liquid into the shell of his hand.

“I _heard_ that!”

Chloe let out an amused snort at it, before blowing him a kiss.

“I will even help you put it on”, she crooned and giggled when his annoyed expression melted into something slightly wicked and satisfied.

“Oh, will you now…?”, a shiver crept along her spine at the look he sent her, but two could play that game.

“Mhm”, she nodded, crossing the room in order to take the bottle out of his hand and he readily let her, watching her closely as she squeezed a bit of sunscreen onto her palm, the cool emulsion tickled her hand.

“Well”, she said, placing the bottle down on the floor, before rising to her feet again, blinking up at him from under the few strands that fell into her face and she could have smirked in satisfaction as he swallowed lightly. Her free hand toyed with the only button of his linen shirt that was still closed only to carefully push it through the loop and for her fingers to lightly brush along the planes of his abs on their way upwards. She heard him suck in a breath, the muscles of his abdomen tensing. The rush of satisfaction was laced by desire that bloomed up inside her, but she squashed it down in the same instant. Trixie was still in the room, thank you very much.

“I _do_ like where this is going”, he murmured, his eyes dark and his tongue flitting out to wet his lips.

“Mhm, I’m sure you do”, she hummed with a small smile, spreading the sunscreen between her hands, only to raise them to his face and pat the white liquid against his cheeks spreading them in circles and putting a blab of it on his scrunched nose. Spreading the cream on his face she giggled as he let out a disappointed whine.

“ _Detective_.”

Eventually they could make their way down to the beach, her two kids – one excited beyond reason, the other whining the whole way down to the water that the sun screen had sand sticking to his skin – trailing after her. She had deemed it necessary for her sanity to ignore Lucifer’s nagging and instead focus on how familiar the ocean smelled, the sand giving way beneath her feet, while the sun danced along her skin, the breeze flirting with the hem of her sundress. Was aforementioned sundress the reason Lucifer had finally given up his rant? Probably.

Between the seagulls’ cries her daughter’s squeal tore through the silence as she dashed along the little path, sand spewing in all directions as she made a run for the waves. Her brown curls spilled underneath the pink hat and if it wasn’t the most adorable thing she had ever seen, she didn’t know what was.

“No swimming without me or Lucifer, Monkey!”, she called after her; a shout of acknowledgement was carried to her by the breeze.

She huffed an amused breath and took her own little paradise in. It was incredible how, no matter how many years passed, the path, the beach would always stay the same, the ocean would always stay the same. The same never-ending blue stretching in ripples of water that lapped at the shore, the sand still of the same softness, glinting in the hot sun. The crooked wooden sign that lead down the sandy trail was still wooden and crooked. The air even smelled the same as on the day she had chased along the path with her Dad and the twinge of grief was dimmed by the thought of how happy he would be, how proud he would be of her little family. It had her own heart fluttering in love as the carefree presence of her little baby and her partner in crime tugged at her heartstrings.

She faltered in her steps and it had Lucifer bumping into her, his arms coming around her waist as he easily pulled her into a hug.

“Hello there, Detective.”

His voice rumbled low in her ear, his body adding to the California heat and even though she could have melted into his embrace, it was way too hot.

“Hey, you”, she whispered back, unable to ban the smile from her face as she tilted her head back.

She giggled at his surprised expression as she kicked off her flip flops, wriggled out of his embrace and darted after her daughter.

“Who’s first at the sea!”

Laughter spilled over her lips and into the breeze as she flew past the sign saying “ _Decker property_ ”, a giddiness inside her that she was unable to contain.

“Oi!”

He had finally caught up on what was happening and followed her and oh man, he was terrifyingly fast. In a matter of moments his long legs had eaten up the ground the way he polished off Cool Ranch Puffs and he had rushed past her. Determined not to let him win that easily she pushed the ground with more force, the sand too soft underneath her feet. He was just too damn tall!

Too focused on her goal of catching up with him she only realized he had stopped a few feet away from the shore and spined around when she had crashed into him with her full force. The impact pressed all air out of her lungs as her face smashed into his chest, but of course all he did was bark a laugh, topple a few steps back and wind his arms around her.

“Sorry!”

“ _Detective”_ , he drawled and her eyes were busy with rolling in their sockets again, “Such passion, such ardor.”

At her exaggerated groan he chuckled, tightening his grip when she tried to push herself off.

“Lucifer”, she whined, stomping her foot into the too hot sand.

“Yes, love?”

“Let me go.”

“So you can go and defeat me?”

Chloe pursed her lips, innocently looking up at him.

“No – I mean, I don’t know what –“

He chortled, shaking his head with a wide grin on his cheeks

“I abhor liars, Detective, you know that.”

She knew it was meant to be teasing, but she bit her lip, knowing how hard it hit home with what had been going on with Eve. He rolled his eyes at her as if he knew she was overthinking things, pecking her nose, before pulling back, expectantly raising his brows at her.

She let out a little growl.

“Okay. Yes. Yes, so I can go and defeat you.”

Oh, how she wished she could wipe that smug expression off his face. He shrugged at her with an overdramatic sigh.

“I am sorry I have to disappoint you, love, but I think the urchin won this one already.”

Chloe whirled around and indeed, there her Monkey was, up to her knees submerged under the water’s surface and a wide grin on her lips.

“The winner chooses the music on the next car ride!”, she cheered happily, her hands up in the air in an imitation of _the wave_ , “DJ Trixie is in the house.”

\---

Having collected their flipflops after submerging their sore soles in the cool water they spread their towels – the umbrella her Mom had left in the little stand in the ground drew a circle of shade onto the sand.

Trixie was already playing with the waves, her legs a lot longer than last summer, while Lucifer peeled the sweaty shirt from his body.

“This is disgusting, Detective. I sweat like I just spent an hour in a sauna.”

He eyed the piece of clothing with so much distaste it was comical again. Trying her best to conceal her amusement she stared off into the waves as they melted into a homogenous blue at the horizon. She had to admit, she wasn’t doing a great job at it.

“Does my discomfort amuse you, Detective?”

The exasperation in his voice reminded her so much of when he first had come over to her apartment and the corners of her mouth quirked up into a grin as she winked at him.

“Very.”

Her response was met with an amused snort, trying its hardest not to be amused, while a sweaty shirt was flung at her head.

“Ew!”, she had caught it, damp and sandy in her hands, “Lucifer!”

“I told so”, he sing-songed, before he crawled over to her bag and pulled out the sun screen, “My back still has to be treated with this”, he scrunched his nose, “vile atrocity. So if you please, Detective. After all it would only be fair after you-“

“Yes”, she cut in, rolling her eyes, “I will do your back. Come here and stop whining about it.”

“I don’t _whine_ ”, he protested weakly, but scooted closer anyhow, “And stop acting like it is such a nuisance to you”, back was the teasing tone, “I know you cannot wait to get your hands on me.”

Chloe hummed noncommittally as she gestured him to turn around and sit in front of her. He wasn’t too far off and if Trixie hadn’t been with them, she would have run her hands over the shifting packs of his muscles already. She pumped a little sunscreen into her hands and onto his back, snorting a laugh as he flinched and glared at her over his shoulder.

“That is _cold_ , love.”

“I thought you didn’t whine”, she winked at him and tried to suppress her giggle, when he turned back around, his mouth snapping shut as he curled his spine and he reminded her of a sulking owl.

_I don’t whine_ , she could nearly hear him say, but he kept quiet. She was sure a muscle in his jaw had to tear at how hard he clenched his mouth shut in order not to quip back. Shaking her head in fond exasperation she placed her hands onto his skin, rhythmically spreading the sun screen across his back, careful where his smooth skin gave way to the ripples of scar tissue, still soft underneath her fingertips, but she kept her tough delicate nearly fearing it to be too harsh - they looked sensitive but weren’t. She made sure to cover his neck and shoulders, her thumbs gently massaging the tension in his neck away and she felt him relax underneath her hands. Keeping one eye on her kid she completed her task, dutifully placing a kiss in the gap between his scars as she was finished and he turned in an instant, cradled her cheek with his hand that was big enough to encompass the whole side of her face and pulled her face to his to kiss her.

She had expected a peck, but the tenderness, the delicacy with which he kissed her took her breath away. It was as if his lips tried to tell hers every little detail of how perfect she was, of how much he cared. Eventually pulling away a bit he regarded her with a fondness in his features that had her smile in pride, while his thumb brushed along her skin.

“What?”, she eventually wanted to know, voice low and warm.

“Nothing”, he shook his head, the curve of his lips never waning, “I just –“

She cocked her head as he searched for words.

“I am so in love with you”, he huffed a little breath out of his nose, the corners of his eyes crinkling, “The devil and his detective.”

Right, whatever sensible brain cell that hadn’t melted in the heat yet was gone now, while her heart was giggling helplessly in a heap on the floor. Chloe shot forward to seal his mouth with hers, trying to put all the force of her emotions for him into her kiss, wanted to tell him to understand how _damn_ much he meant to her. And judging by the way he responded, he had understood.

“I love you”, she whispered against his lips, in an attempt to do both, take in oxygen and push out the words that had been burning on her lips.

“And I –“ , his hoarse words got swallowed in Trixie’s exclaim.

“Lucifer, are you okay?”

Her Monkey let herself fall onto the towel next to him, her eyes big and worried as she stared up at them, completely ignoring how close their faces were. Chloe pulled away first, concern crinkling her forehead as she took him in, a look of confusion on his face as he turned towards her daughter.

“What- yes, I am fine. I am fine… why…?”

His gaze flickered to hers, but she could only shrug in confusion.

“Baby, what…?”

It dawned on her when she realized Trixie’s eyes were glued to Lucifer’s back. His scars. Trixie hadn’t seen his scars yet. Her eyes widened and she wanted to say something but before she could get the words over her lips, her daughter had already continued.

“Because - your back!”

The look on his face could best be described as _oh, shit_ in the flesh as he nodded slowly, his brain finally catching up.

“Oh.”

Chloe couldn’t help but close her eyes at the answer, desperately trying to work out what she could say to sooth her daughter’s worry.

“It’s … it’s nothing, urchin”, he said, flashing her a quick smile, but it didn’t help ease Trixie’s mind as her gaze was still filled with tremulous tears.

“Don’t lie”, her voice was feeble, but it had him sagging in an instant. His features melted into something gentler as he faced her kid fully.

“Look, Beatrice”, his tongue flitted out in an attempt to figure out what to say, “Those scars are old – from a long time ago. It was quite nasty, I can assure you,” his nose scrunched up in disgust, “But I am fine now. See –“

He turned his back for Trixie to inspect his shoulder blades.

“All dandy, all healed. I am fine.”

Her daughter’s small hands found his skin, scooted carefully closer to the beginning of connective tissue and Chloe wanted to reach out and pull her back, knowing how uncomfortable Lucifer had been when she had wanted to touch his scars at first. Yet she paused in her movement as he didn’t tense at the careful ministrations, trusting her fingers in way he didn’t trust many. Her daughter’s eyes were still worried, still glinting in the shadow, but the insecurity gave way to sudden determination.

Leaning forward she pressed two quick kisses to his scars. His head snapped up in an instant, turning with wide eyes and Chloe cringed inwardly, afraid Trixie had overstepped, but there was a vulnerability, a gratefulness in his gaze that took away the sudden fear.

“ _Urchin_?”

It was hardly more than a croak, but her daughter beamed at him.

“Mommy always kisses my pain away, when I scab my knees or fall down from somewhere. So”, she shrugged, “is it all better now?”

He stared at her, his mouth slightly agape in bafflement, before he snapped it shut.

“Yes. Much. Thank you, Beatrice.”

She threw him a disarming grin.

“Mommy, have you taken the ball with you? The red one?”

It snapped Chloe out of her daze and she turned to rummage in her bag only for her fingers to come into touch with warm plastic.

“Yep. Monkey in the Middle?”, she winked at her daughter before she threw her the ball.

“But Lucifer can’t be in the middle! He is _way_ too tall!”

“Oh, I but I do like to be in the middle”, he pipped in and Chloe’s jaw dropped before a furious blush that had nothing to do with the sun spread across her face.

“ _Lucifer!”_

He just flashed her a cheeky grin and a wink before he got up to his feet to follow Trixie into the water, purposefully swaying his hips as he walked and she couldn’t help but laugh as her mortification bled away. He was such a dork, really.

A sigh escaped her as she took off her hat and pulled her sundress above her head, before getting up and hastening after her two favorite persons.

The sea was cool enough to be refreshing and but warm enough for her not to flinch as the waves splashed her belly. The crimson of her bikini morphed, drop by drop and wave by wave into burgundy and she sent Lucifer a wink of her own when he let out an appreciative purr.

“Detective, don’t you look ravishing?”

The happy smile on her lips let out a loud laugh as Trixie threw in, “I don’t think Mommy looks like radish, Lucifer.”

What had started as playing ball ended up being a man hunt – well, Chloe hunt apparently – as Trixie fished a bundle of seaweed out of the waves and darted towards her, a shout of battle on her lips. Chloe – shuddering and gasping, because no _thank you_ – had lurched out of the water, sprinting away from the little monster that was her daughter, the very shallowest part of waves lapping at her toes. The sand was firmer underneath her feet, wet, but her feet still left imprints in the ground, bits of mud got sent flying. Lucifer had attached himself to her heel, because of course he would side with her daughter and she accelerated along the shore line, quickly darting along the length of the beach. Her squeal mixed with Trixie’s hollering and Lucifer’s encouragements, before the steps behind her got louder, thundering and splashing through the waves before strong arms wound themselves around her body.

“No!”, she wriggled and fought, trying to escape his grip, “Lucifer, _let go!_ Please, please – let go - _let go!”_

“Urchin, I got her!”, his voice was loud in her ear, his laughter vibrating in his chest.

Her shout got lost in Trixie’s squeal as she launched at her, the wet tentacles of seaweed colliding with her upper body.

“Eeew”, she had gone still in Lucifer’s arms as if being still prevented her feeling the cold and wet bundle of grossness.

Said devil had dissolved into laughter behind her, enabling her to shake his grip off and to peel of that _thing_ off her skin. Glaring at her daughter and the man child behind her she was quick to submerge herself under the waves, regarding her daughter and her boyfriend as they high fived each other and didn’t even have the decency to look sheepish. She squinted at them as she made her way towards them, stalking at her munchkin.

“I will get you for this”, she threatened and her kid dashed off, pitched laughter spilling across her lips.

“Lucifer, help!”

“No, don’t you _dare_ ”, but he had already pulled her close to his chest, his grip tight on her as they – she helplessly – watched her daughter jump along the waves, the chase already forgotten.

Lucifer released a breath, a relaxed one carrying the faintest hint of his laughter and she couldn’t remember when the tension had last left his body like this. Holding her wet back to his equally damp chest he let his chin settle on the top of her head. A hum played with his vocal cords and she let herself nestle into his embrace.

“What is it?”, she asked after a while, basking in his warmth and in the sun that dried her skin.

He shook his head on top of hers, a soft sound at the back of his throat. He swallowed, eventually raising his voice a bit.

“I never thought I would get to have this”, he said into the breeze and she laced her fingers with his laying on her belly, “If someone would have told me that years ago, lonely and high in a hotel room, that I would be this happy, that I would have you two – a _family_ ”, he let out a little huff of laughter, disbelieving, “I would have told them they are sodding dreamers.“

She tilted her head upwards and pressed a kiss to his stubbled chin, mumbling into his skin, “You know, sometimes it’s good to be a dreamer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering: No Trixie has never seen Lucifer scars before, because he mostly wore a shirt around the apartment in NY.


	3. Pictures of you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After lunch Chloe finds something hidden in the depths of her mobile phone storage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning peeps!
> 
> For all those asking who Chad in the Tags is - if you have seen season 5 all I can say is Cherry Jane! 
> 
> and if not - it's Chloe's ex boyfriend from high school! 
> 
> I don't think I have any thing else to say! 
> 
> Take care of yourselves!
> 
> Lots of love!

They had decided to get a late lunch and Chloe’s jaw was still attached to the floor from when two cars had pulled up in the driveway – Lucifer had had their rental car delivered, claiming that he wouldn’t lift a finger more than he needed during his vacation and proceeded to generously tip the driver only for the aforementioned to get into the second car with his colleague and drive off.

He had told her about the money he now had at his disposal, but it rubbed her the wrong way, considering where it came from. Even though he had rolled his eyes at her and assured her it was basically inherited, she still didn’t have a good feeling. Jeez, Caelum was still a whole fucking _crime syndicate_. Besides, she refused to become a kept woman, no matter how excited Lucifer seemed to spoil her and her daughter. Despite the deal he had made with Trixie that Disney songs were excluded from the DJ’s choice of music they had been listening to Taylor Swift the whole drive to the little restaurant and Chloe had joined her daughter’s singing just to deepen the disgruntled pout on Lucifer’s lips. Throwing her head back in laughter at how he insisted to turn down this _god awful music_ and _why on earth he was subjected to this_ she felt herself wondering how it could suddenly be so simple. How there wasn’t something monumental coming to crash into them in the very next instant, because they had made a run for normalcy when in reality that should be the exact thing they would run from. Her heart felt lighter when she turned her head and saw him mouthing along the lines of _but I’m feeling twenty-two_ and it made her smile even harder.

The drive back from the restaurant – their bellies too full for the temperature as Lucifer complained – was silent, no music blaring out of the speakers. The coastline was a silent melody in the background as Chloe watched the waves glitter along the horizon. A glance over her shoulder told her that Trixie had fallen asleep, her forehead resting limply against the window in the back and Chloe wanted to reach out and tilt her head back so she wouldn’t get a crick in her neck when she woke. Even Lucifer was quiet – which was a rarity in itself – but she didn’t yearn to fill the silence between them. She only reached for his hand on the stick and interlaced her fingers with his long ones. He gave her a smile, one of the slow ones as he glanced up into the rear view mirror.

“Out like a light?”, his voice was a fond murmur and she nodded, the back of her head leaning into the head rest.

“That she is”, she said, her own smile drowsy.

His lips curled in adoration.

“Someone looks worn out as well. And we haven’t even done the nasty yet.”

She laughed at his gentle teasing, letting her eyes slide shut for a moment.

“Sleep, love. I will wake you when we are home.”

She cracked open a lid to find him focused on the street before him.

“You will.”

“I will. Scout’s honor”, he said, winking and she had to chuckle, knowing he had never been a scout in the first place. But she nodded, settling more comfortable into the seat, facing him and let herself be lulled into a shallow slumber by the steady sound of the engine.

Chloe woke to the sound of a car door slamming shut and another opening, her head spinning in disorientation. Car. They had been driving home from lunch. Her mouth felt like it had been filled with cotton and she swallowed to get rid of the dryness clinging to her throat.

“It’s quite alright, urchin. Sleep.” Lucifer’s voice was hushed and low and she turned around to find him lifting a dozing Trixie into his arms and out of the car. Gathered in his arms she seemed to weigh nothing at all. The protectiveness of his gesture made her chest hurt in all the good ways as she unbuckled herself and got out of the car herself, stretching her still sleepy limbs and blinking the haze in her eyes away. Lucifer halted on his way to the door, waiting for her to catch up with him. Her fingers came up to brush away the curl falling into her daughter’s face and tickled her nose, causing her to scrunch it adorably.

“I thought you would wake me”, she caught Lucifer’s eye, her voice still quiet and tired.

“I was”, he continued his way to the door, holding Trixie to his chest with one arm, while he fiddled with the keys in the other, “I just wanted to let you sleep a little more until I have gotten your offspring”, the fond crinkling of his eyes spoke for itself, “into her bed.”

“Mhm”, she made, following him inside when he had pushed the door open, “of course.”

He passed her to get said offspring into her room and she fished the car key from his back pocket, causing him to turn his head in delight.

“ _Detective_ ”, his playful purr betrayed his offense, “not in the presence of a child!”

She snorted with an eyeroll, shooing him along before she turned to lock the car and close the front door. She knew he would take his time in peeling Trixie from his person in the fear of waking her. The first time that had happened Chloe hadn’t been able to stop laughing as Lucifer had stared at her like a deer in headlights hissing at her how on earth he was supposed to detach her from his form, a sleeping Trixie clinging to him like the monkey she was, unwilling to let go. She let herself fall onto the couch, her feet curling underneath her body, while her flipflops fell to the floor. She had taken out her phone, scrolling through the pictures from the beach, a Lucifer squinting into the camara, his hand coming up to brush his hair back that Trixie had messed up plenty. Her daughter was drawing a grimace in the background. The other one was of Trixie jumping along the waves. A selfie Lucifer had talked her into. Another where he rested his chin on top of her head. The next where she rested between his legs, staring up at him from under the crimp of her hat, her eyes plenty annoyed with the fact that he wouldn’t let her read her book in peace. There was a picture out of the window of the plane and one of the tickets of their flight, should she forget them in her haste and needed to scan them. Her boots. The next picture had her thumb hovering.

It was Lucifer at the piano, engrossed in the keys in front of him, a bottle of whisky, scotch, what did she know, in front of him. The light wasn’t too awful considering the dim light in Y’s Gawen. Next to him Michael’s forehead had creased in concentration as he was looking at what his brother’s hands were doing. Another swipe. In this one Lucifer’s face was alive with laughter, while Michael seemed to nudge his side, the very identical grin on his lips.

“Enjoying the pictures I sent you?”, Lucifer’s grin was palpable in his voice as he came closer, the door behind her shutting.

“No”, she laughed, her cheeks growing warm as she knew exactly what pictures he was talking about – him stretched out on the bed, one arm pillowed beneath his head with his bicep bulging. His muscles protruded just enough for her to know he was flexing, but she had gotten too distracted by the happy trail leading downwards and his cock straining in his boxers. She shook her head, trying very hard not to think about how he would feel underneath her, filling her mouth – she cleared her throat awkwardly, knowing he was preening like a peacock behind her.

“I forgot I took those”, she said, turning her phone for him to look at and she could swear she saw him freezing in his confident lounge against the couch. His brows furrowed as he reached out for her phone and she let him take it. She took in his expression as he looked at the picture, part happy, part wistful, part desperate. Her gut was practically screaming at her. He was off, subdued since Michael had gone back home, too much for him to just be missing his brother. Something must have happened, there had to be something she wasn’t getting.

“Lucifer?”, she said, gently in order not to startle him.

“I”, he glanced at her, his tongue coming out to wet his lips, “could you send this to me? And the other one?”

“Sure”, she nodded, still worried, because she could tell there was something off, “is everything alright between the two of you?”

Another glance, guarded, “Yes. Fine. It’s fine.”

Fine, her ass.

She kept her smile soft as she reached for his hand, tugging him down as she patted onto the cushion next to her. Her eyes were pleading him to sit down next to her and he did eventually roll his eyes and made his way around the couch. Tugging at the fabric at his knees he sank down, about to cross his legs, but Chloe wasn’t having any of it as she maneuvered herself into his side, gathering him close.

He huffed a laugh, so unbearably fond as he slung his arm around her and held her close. Rolling the sentence around in her mouth she hesitated, not wanting to disturb the silence. Trailing her hand along his wrist, playing with the cuff of his dress shirt she said as gently as she managed, “Did something happen with Michael? You haven’t seemed quite like yourself since he has left.”

She could feel him tense underneath her touch and somehow, after all that they had been through it made her heart hurt that his first instinct was still for his walls to slam back into place.

His grip tightened around her shoulder and he let out a controlled breath through his nose.

“I…”, a pause, a swallow, “I’d rather not talk about it.”

She nodded, her teeth tugging at her lower lip.

“Are you sure you don’t want to? I know it’s difficult but –“, she trailed off when she felt him tense even further, “okay. I – just. If you want to talk, I am here, okay?”

“I know, love”, he said, his voice again devoid or still devoid, she wasn’t quite sure. The slightest hint of annoyance crept up her spine, but she pushed it away. It was his choice whether he wanted to open up to her or not. She couldn’t force him to, no matter how frustrated she was. So she just hummed and settled her head against his shoulder, the two of them just soaking up the quietness, the sound of waves and seagulls and the hum of the fridge in the kitchen and the other’s breath. She had missed being here. She had missed curling up on the couch in the sunlight on the rare occasions that she had actually taken a day off of work. The air conditioning had slowly started to cool down the room– just warm enough for her, but she knew Lucifer hated the heat, so she’d be fine as long as he would stop whining. She couldn’t wait for late nights out on the porch with a glass of wine in hand and leaning into Lucifer, listening to the waves again.

“Michael had to leave.”

She startled at Lucifer’s voice, lifting her head an inch from his shoulder, waiting for him to continue. He let out another breath, swallowed.

“My father has apparently fallen ill and it’s not looking good. As the “oldest” son and the first commander of Heaven it’s Michael’s duty to –“ , he cleared his throat as the words dragged themselves off his tongue, “- to take over Caelum once dear old _Dad_ is eventually six feet under.”

She hadn’t known a single word could carry this much anger, this much hatred. The information reached her brain and sorted it into categories as Lucifer continued, his hand slipping from her shoulder and around her to his other hand to play with his ring.

“And – I suppose he is not in a position to come back. And well, neither am I”, the last part was barely above a whisper that had her chest tightening in compassion.

Sitting up and turning she tried to catch his gaze, but his eyes were stuck on the ring on his middle finger – the stone as dark as his irises, both shining.

“Lucifer”, she whispered, her hand coming up to brush his cheek and as if his body moved by instinct he leaned into her embrace.

“It’s fine.”

“it’s not fine”, she said, desperately needing him to understand that it was alright and necessary for him to grieve, for him to process his brother leaving.

“It is fine, Chloe”, he said, his back suddenly straighter and he was looking right at her with the expression of a man who had accepted his fate, “it’s not like Michael and I haven’t known that that is what would happen since the very beginning. I was fully aware of his duties as was he. There is nothing we can do. It’s the way things are.”

Her brows wandered up in surprise.

“But it’s okay for you not to feel fine about it”, she tried again, desperately trying not to push him too far,” it’s okay to be upset about it.”

With a sharp huff of air he laughed, shaking his head. If there had been a glass he would have reached out, she knew.

“What I am is _furious_. But sadly the person who got us in this mess isn’t here, so _excuse me_ for trying not to displace my anger and ruin our vacation.”

She flinched at the jab in her direction, annoyed at how the whole conversation had torn freshly stitched wounds open.

“Right”, she nodded, “Sorry. But if you need to talk or anything. I am here. I am _always_ here.”

She couldn’t help but feel desperate. The last time he hadn’t reached out to her he had nearly relapsed and she couldn’t – it _couldn’t_ happen again.

Lucifer glanced at her and his gaze softened. “I know, love”, he said so gentle and caring it felt like her heart could burst anytime.

“I’ll be out for a smoke.”

“Right. Sure”, she nodded absentmindedly leaning into his hand brushing along her cheek as he was getting up and outside. Her eyes lingered on his person, unsure of what to do. But she would figure it out.


	4. The sights of Chloe Jane Decker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which they take a trip down memory lane and in which Chloe says what we all wanted her to say in 5x06.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning peeps!
> 
> This is one big chunko of 6000+ words! Enjoy. 
> 
> Lately I have been struggling with writing this story a bit, not because of writer's block, but because I have lectures from 9 am to 7 pm on most days and along with working and studying it becomes a little hard to get into the right headspace to write. 
> 
> I am doing my very best to keep the updates on Friday as punctual as I can, but should it happen that there is no chapter on a Friday, please don't freak out, it will probably be uploaded on Saturday should it come to that! ^^ I am very determined to carry this story across the finish line so fret not!
> 
> Stay safe you peeps!
> 
> lots of love

“Detective, what on earth are we doing here?”

Here was Santa Monica beach, much to Trixie’s delight. It was one of her absolute favorite places in LA. The corners of Chloe’s mouth twitched upwards as she let herself sink down onto the bench – God, her teenage years seemed ages away. The excited shouts of children and the gleeful chatter of seagulls above her hadn’t change, the only indication of how much time had passed were her face and the lines that it slowly accumulated, along with the music that blasted out of the speakers at the beach. And the fact that she had an eight year old daughter, obviously.

Chloe crossed her legs and grinned up at Lucifer.

“This is where I had my first kiss”, she told his clearly bewildered expression as she let her gaze wander. She still remembered how Mark’s lips had felt in hers, clumsy and too sticky from the cotton candy he had gotten on their walk through the booths.

Lucifer’s face lit up in excitement when she glanced up at him and it had her shake her head in fond exasperation. If he were that interested in wearing sun protection as he was in her sex life and past conquests, he might not risk getting cancer at the age of 50.

“Oh, do tell”, he purred, sinking down next to her, a quick glance to reassure him that Trixie hadn’t gotten lost, but was still throwing breadcrumbs at the gulls. His face hovered in front of hers as he leaned in, all smooth and predatory.

“Care to make some other memories?”

His voice rumbled deep in his chest and Chloe couldn’t help but laugh at the suggestive wiggle of his brows.

“Are you propositioning me, Mr. Morningstar?”, she murmured, leaning closer for their noses to brush each other.

He chuckled and she was close enough to feel it, when he reached for the back of her head, pulling her lips onto his and she was melting. He was tentative, gentle as if it truly was their very first kiss and any thoughts of high school crushes were carried away by the wind. With a last peck he pulled away, nuzzling his nose against hers.

“I might very well be”, he winked at her before he sat up, his arms reaching behind her to lean on the rest. The smile on her lips felt so happy it made a weight lift from her shoulders that she had been carrying with her since the day she had arrived in New York. She should have taken a vacation a lot sooner already.

“So”, Lucifer started conversationally, “Are we going to make a pit stop at all the places in Los Angeles that you have made out at? Because I would certainly enjoy that.”

She snickered at that, shaking her head.

“No, I was more thinking of “The sights of Chloe Jane Decker.””

“The sights of Chloe Jane Decker”, he seemed to be trying the words out on his tongue, “Well, I still don’t see how there is a difference between the two.”

“Lucifer!”

She nudged his chest with her shoulder, unable to stop grinning.

“The place where your offspring has been conceived then?”

“You most definitely don’t want to see that”, she giggled, slightly cringing at the thought of a quicky in the bathroom of The Paddock.

“Oh, I object”, he winked at her, “I would very much like to see that.”

“Lucifer”, she admonished, but there was no heat in it, “no.”

“Come on!”, he whined, “At least the sandy dunes where your flower got popped.”

She swatted his chest, rolling her eyes. “Okay, that’s enough. There will no trip down – down”, she gestured searching for words, “ that type of memory lane.”

“Fine”, he sighed, the look of his face showing utter disappointment, “I will die of boredom then.”

“My life is not that boring, Lucifer”, she shook her head, before letting it sink against her partner, despite the sweat and the fact that everything was sticky right now.

“Well, your middle name says differently”, he murmured.

oOo

Silver the bar glinted in the sun as she propped her hands into her hips, frowning. Her hands could practically feel the calluses that she had gotten during her time in police academy when she had come here to train every single morning. She wouldn’t say she was particularly unfit, but she did envy the young version of herself for her pull up skills to say the least.

“Okay, so”, she turned swiftly to face a bewildered Lucifer and excited Trixie next to him, both reminding her of an animated movie, a tiny cat next to a hulk of a German Shepard with innocent and dog eyes. God, what was her life?  
  


“So, this is where I would come to when I was in police academy. Just so I could train”, she told Trixie when her face lit up in glee as she took Lucifer’s hand and excitedly tugged at it, while he shushed her with the murmur to listen to her mother.

“I would get up early, would throw my trainers on and work out with the sun coming up.”

It had been the time where she would blast music through her headphones, loud enough to drown out the grief and would only be done when her muscles ached the same way her heart did when she thought of her father. The fast paced music that some guy was listening to along with the joyous cries took her right back to sunrises and eyes sore from tears and tiredness.

Lucifer lifted his eyebrows in interest, pulling his hand out of Trixie’s and crossed them in front of his chest. Concern rose in her esophagus. Had this been a stupid idea? Had he even wanted to know? He was regarding the bars next to him as she was chewing on her lips, feeling at loss of what to do or to say.

“So what do you think, Detective”, Lucifer was turning towards her, eyes twinkling with mirth, “who can do more pull ups, you or me?”

She couldn’t help the laugh that was distorting the face she pulled.

“Is that even up for debate?”

Lucifer was basically six foot three of lean muscle and it had her raising her brows in question.

“Come on”, he said, grinning down at her, “It’s gonna be _fun_. I will even take the urchin on my back. Make it a fair contest.”

“Really?”, Trixie beamed up at him.

“Most certainly, my dear little urchin.”

Unable to deny the two of them anything looking at her like they did, she shook her head with her mouth curling.

“Okay”, she said, unable to stop smiling, because she was in a relationship with a dork, “let’s do it. Even though you win.”

Lucifer’s retort got drowned in her daughter’s excited squeal as she danced around them and he winced away, melodramatic as always.

“Urchin, quit hollering into my ear, will you? I am quite attached to my eardrum.”

“But it’s so _cool_.”

“Yes, but it can be _cool_ a little quieter, doesn’t it?”

“But-“

“Lucifer”, Chloe threw in, swallowing down the fact that Trixie reached up to Lucifer’s _hip,_ “Let it go. And come on. Let’s do this. Or are you chickening out?”

“I am most certainly not!”, he squinted his eyes at her as she sent him a provocative wink, as if to tell her he knew exactly what she was doing.

Something seemed to dawn on him when his expression morphed into a devious one as his hands flew up to the row of buttons and with a speed she knew he possessed but forgot it every single time his white shirt was off and meticulously folded and put into her bag, resting at the foot of the bars. The broad expanse of his chest gave way to his abs and the v of his hips and she had to fight down the urge to have her fingers running along them.

Chloe blinked, tore her eyes from his torso up to his shit eating grin and felt herself blushing. Deflecting her very obvious gawking she cleared her throat and took off her sun hat. Pull ups in a sun dress reminded her of drunken detours in her youth.

“Alright then”, she said as she tossed her hat next to her bag for it to join Lucifer’s shirt, “Monkey, come on, you need to climb on Lucifer’s back, can you do that?”

“Yep!”, her daughter squealed excitedly and hopped over to Lucifer, who had squatted down, glancing at her kid over his shoulders

“Alright then. Sling your arms around my neck, yes, like this. But don’t choke me”, her daughter’s arms eased a bit around his neck as she stood on her tiptoes as if she was hugging him.

“Now your legs around my waist – bloody hell, you are tiny”, he remarked, when Trixie squeaked gleefully as she crossed her feet in front of Lucifer’s belly. Chloe’s hands were out, she could already see her slipping down and toppling into the sand, but Lucifer carefully held her upwards.

“I won’t hold you, urchin, so you better cling to me like when you decide to bowl me over as a greeting, alright?”

“Okay!”

“Ready? I’m going to let go now.”

Trix let out an affirmative giggle and Lucifer gasped.

“What did I say about not strangling me to death, offspring?”, he wheezed, taking a dramatic breath as he got up.

“Sorry, Lucifer”, Trixie was nuzzling her head into his neck and Chloe nearly choked on her spit at his murmured, “Always those Decker women with their choking.”

“Lucifer!”, she hissed, unable to ban the mortified blush that spread on her whole face, because dammit, that had been an accident. Not even her embarrassed glare could bring him to stop grinning his stupid smirk, as he nodded towards the bars.

“Shall we then, Detective?”

“Bring it on, Satan.”

The grain of sand tickled her feet as they touched the ground and she had to jump to reach the bar, while Lucifer just stepped underneath the construction with ease and reached up. When she glanced over she had to shake her head to get herself to stop focusing on the way the packs of muscles of his arms shifted and stretched. The blush that spread across her cheeks could only barely so be banished.

The bar underneath her hands was war, but not too hot yet and she reeled in the familiar feeling of it.

“Right…”, Lucifer glanced over to her, “Urchin hold tight. We will start on three. You count.”

Trixie happily giggled on his back before counting out loud, “One, two – three!”

Chloe got her muscles to contract to pull herself up and she could vaguely see Lucifer do the same from the corner of her eye. The world was reduced to a focused breath and she counted, even though she knew Lucifer would beat her anyhow. She managed 8 and a half pull ups – the last one had been a struggle - and her face probably beet red of exhaustion. She dropped down, her arms screaming and whining at her as her breath came in pants. Leaning her forearms onto her knees as she plummeted onto her butt she watched Lucifer, who was continuing his exercise with an ease she should have expected.

Despite Trixie’s cheerful counting, his face had morphed into something strict as if he had slipped back into a role he had stripped himself off a long time ago. A shudder ran along her spine. This man had been trained by a crime syndicate, had been tortured and beaten and he somehow had managed to still be the person she had fallen in love with. Somehow he had managed to mend himself and be funny and snarky and kind. Playful and absolutely perfect with her daughter. While his goodness, despite all the odds, hit her from time to time with so much force she forgot to breathe, seeing him with Trixie on his back as he was beating her at a pull up competition made breathing easy in a way nothing had ever been.

“Can you do the thing where you go up completely?”, her daughter’s question was innocent enough, but it seemed to snap Lucifer out of his focus, because Chloe could swear he had flinched a bit.

“A muscle up?”

“Yeah? Maybe? I don’t know how it’s called, but you go up like-“ with a swift motion Lucifer had pulled himself up the bar and stemmed his weight, ending with his arms fully extended as he held himself up –

Trixie was cheering, “Yeah! Exactly like that!” while Chloe was unable to tear her gaze from the way his muscles were working, lean and corded as if crafted by some sculptor or something. She knew exactly how they felt underneath her hands when she was clinging to him while he was thrusting into her. Her tongue flitted out to wet her lip as Lucifer let himself fall into the sand, his hands helping Trixie to slide of his back.

“That was so cool!”

Chloe let out a laugh as she got up, her breath still not even – she hadn’t pushed herself like that in a while – “You win”, she told him, breathing his pants in as she pressed a quick peck to his lips, or at least she planned to, but Lucifer wasn’t having it as his hand found the back of her neck and pulled her mouth back onto his, their kiss deeper and more forceful than the other and it felt like she was floating. He was letting the air harshly out of his nose and they eventually broke apart, gasping for oxygen.

“So”, he drawled, breathless with a wink, “I will collect my reward later on, love.”

She stuttered helplessly, still to dazed from their kiss and the resulting oxygen deprivation and felt herself blush slightly at the way his eyes flickered up and down her body in a quick motion and grew dark.

An overexcited Trixie had him flinching as she was attaching herself to Lucifer’s arm, pulling him excitedly with her and luckily disrupted their moment enough for Chloe to compose herself.

“Can you lift me up?”, the warning glance Chloe sent her daughter had her adding a quick, “please.”

Lucifer nodded to himself as if he was shaking himself out of a Chloe-induced haze and relented with a bone deep sigh.

“I am used as a ladder. Marvelous.”

But despite his whining he was already grabbing Trixie under her shoulders and lifted her high enough to reach the bar, letting go of her as soon as he seemed to be sure that she gripped it tightly enough. With an amused expression he watched her dangle her legs and shriek in glee.

“You will have to pull yourself up on your own, urchin.”

“Luciferr! Help!”

“Oh, come now. You can’t tell me you have no muscle at all in those scrawny limbs of yours.”

The corners of his mouth were curled up in amusement as her daughter giggled, wriggling even more.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake”, he said and took a step closer when a hand on her shoulder had her turning.

“Cherry Jane?”

* * *

When Lucifer had finally gotten the little imp to lift her body up an inch or two and helped her along the rest of the way, Chloe had disappeared from his side. Furrowing his brows he let his gaze stray around the area as he helped the urchin down. She was beaming her – all teeth right where they belonged – bright smile at him, excited in a way only a child seemed to manage.

“You are really strong, Lucifer”, she told him when he fished his shirt from the beach bag, slipping the linen back on, buttoning it absentmindedly when he found the Detective chatting with someone – chiseled face, too loud laugh and a _dreadful_ Hawaiian print shirt – someone who stood a little too close to be just an acquaintance. He was handsome enough, but really not his type.

If his intuition was correct – in such cases it always was – that had to be an ex. The sights of Chloe Jane Decker indeed. If the day continued this way he would have to retract his previous statement about boringness. A grin stretched across his face, but if there was a wolfish edge to it, he wouldn’t acknowledge it. He pulled the bag onto his shoulder, sun hat and child in the respective hands, while the little one seemed delighted in the fact that she got to cling to him. Her ability to draw excitement from such a menial task amazed him. He couldn’t help notice how _tiny_ her small hand was in his and the protectiveness that welled up in him at that had him release a long breath. He was in too deep already. There was no way that he could see Chloe and her urchin get rid of him, now that he had let them in and would keep them in his life.

“Yeah – I’m just here on a vacation, I’ve transferred to New York in spring –“, Lucifer grinned when he gently set down her hat onto her clever head and the Detective whirled around.

“Hey”, she beamed up at him and for a split second everything else seemed to bleed out of focus.

“Hello there, Detective”, he purred happily, before he directed his gaze towards the other man, who was observing them with a smirk that irked Lucifer, for whatever reason. Maybe because he had seen his fair share of them in his life, had been on the giving end of them often enough. It was a shallow projection of a smile and it stoked the suspicion creeping along his veins higher.

“Hey there”, the man stretched his hand out with a beam and Lucifer barely resisted rolling his eyes but reached out anyhow to grip the other man’s hand firmly.

“I’m Jed.”

“Pleased”, there was an edge in his grin, he let it turn predatory as he let go, “Lucifer Morningstar.”

The laugh that left _Jed’s_ lips had him raising his brow in a manner that had people squirming under his gaze, but the man in front of him seemed to be completely immune to social awkwardness.

“You’re for real?”

“Very?”

He wasn’t entirely sure what the hell the bloke wanted of him, but by the way Chloe bit her lip he deduced that it was important for her that he acted somewhat respectfully towards the other.

Jed, that’s my boyfriend that I have told you about”, she said, sliding her hand along Lucifer’s and interlinked their fingers. The feel of the Detective’s hand in his and the urchin leaning into his side had something inside him calming as he straightened his spine. This was his. His family.

The man’s brows climbed up in understanding, before his eyes flickered towards Beatrice and Lucifer resisted the urge to slip his hand out of hers and curl it around her shoulders.

“I see”, he said, winking in a way that was supposed to be conspirational, “Then we have already something in common.”

Lucifer huffed a breath, “I hope you don’t mean your choice of clothing.”

Because really – who on earth wore a bright red Hawaiian print in a short sleeve dress shirt and flipflops?

Chloe squeezed his hand forcefully, throwing him a glare that he clearly understood as _shut the hell up_ , but he couldn’t help himself. Sodding _Jed_ just made it too hard for him to resist. The person in question was squatting down to the urchin’s level and grinned at her.

“You must be Trixie, right?”

Lucifer couldn’t help but puff his chest a bit as the urchin quickly glanced up at him and Chloe as if to check whether Jed was okay to talk to – after Michael no wonder.

“Yep”, she said, giving Lucifer’s hand a little squeeze and damn him if it didn’t touch his heart and had his throat closing up he didn’t know what did as he carefully squeezed back.

“I was with your mom in high school”, Jed continued, smiling up at Chloe and Lucifer cocked his brow as he did the same. High school ex then.

“My, this is indeed a trip down memory lane”, he murmured and when Chloe grinned up at him he didn’t find it in him to mind. He had let her in, had let her see the jagged pieces of his past and she hadn’t turned away, but embraced them. He couldn’t deny that he longed to see the parts of her past that made Chloe his Detective too.

"Jed was still rambling on to Beatrice, who was animatedly chatting with him about school and summer camp and the damn Golden Retriever, when the sodding idiot threw in –

“So, you two have been a thing since when?”

“In spring. April”, the Detective added, the corners of her lips curling just so that Lucifer knew she was teasing him, “15th to be exact.”

He couldn’t help the way his eyes softened into fond adoration, because damn him, he loved her.

“That’s not too long, I suppose. But that means you are Trixie’s stepdad then?”

The word made him freeze in his confident posture, had his jaw going slack, because what the bloody hell was he supposed to say to this? _Beatrice is the closest he would ever come to a daughter?_

Jed, oblivious as ever just looked expectantly at Chloe, whose eyes had gone wide as she searched for words. He was hardly a stepfather, no matter how fond he was of the urchin, no matter how much he loved her – calling him her stepdad was taking it a little too far too quickly, considering the few months they had been together.

“I – he” – she was searching, only to be interrupted by the man again, another bright and somehow so _wrong_ smile.

“Bet you two love birds are already on getting her a sibling, aren’t you?”, he grinned, winked as if it was some fucking secret between them, but Lucifer felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He felt Chloe shift next to him, squeezing his hand tighter as if she told him to hold on, because she’d got him.

“Look, Jed, that’s enough”, she bit her lip and somehow all Lucifer could feel was cold seeping into his bones even though they were standing in the California sun, “It’s a little too”, she gestured with her free hand, “personal of a topic for not seeing you for the last three years or so.”

“Oh”, Jed drew a chastised face, “no, I am so sorry. I didn’t want to step too close here. Not that serious then, huh?”, his expression morphed into one of pity.

Indignance burned bright in his veins like a shooting star and he would have been half way at throwing him a predatory laugh and hissed words, if it wasn’t for his bloody constricting chest, if it wasn’t for his limbs crawling in a way like something was trying to claw out of his skin. Lucifer forced himself to focus, he did. Despite the urge to turn and walk away and smoke a pack or at least get a grip on himself

An incredulous laugh had escaped Chloe’s mouth as she gawped at him.

“Excuse me?”

“Whoa, Cherry Jane, I’m just saying.”

“Yeah, well”, she swallowed as if to keep the anger of bubbling out of her chest, “children are a little too soon for us to consider, because we have just met each other this year, not because our relationship isn’t a serious one. It’s called being a responsible adult about things and using your brain for important life decisions.”

Lucifer knew perfectly well that it wasn’t too soon to consider, that they had already considered it, were still considering it, but – _fuck._ Closing his eyes for a split second he took a deep breath. It was enough. He had the urchin and he had Chloe and it was enough. It was so much more than he deserved and so much more than he could have ever wanted. It was more than enough. It was everything.

He was distracted by the urchin tugging at his hand and away from the Detective berating Jed – warmth surged up at him at how protective she had gotten.

“Yes?”

“The girl can to the muscle thing too!”, she was pointing at the bars, where a woman had started her workout and Lucifer nodded with a hum.

“Someday, if you train hard enough, you will be able to do that too, urchin”, he said matter of factly and was thrown back to the early days of Rae-Rae’s training.

“Really?”

“Really”, he said, shoving down whatever threatened to claw its way up his throat. With swift fingers he pulled his phone out, checking the time and somehow deflated when there were no new notifications. 10:43 am. His thoughts travelled overseas as if his thoughts had taken another path that he had wanted them to when they had lingered at the crossing. Michael was probably still working till late until the night as he always did. Maybe he was taking care of his father – he shook his head in frustration as if to shake of the guilt of not coming back, of Michael being the one who had to continue to get himself even deeper into the hell that was Caelum while he was here frolicking in the LA summer sun. Lucifer inhaled deeply, trying to get his bloody act together, his gaze straying along the coastline, the people on the beach obstructing his view of the ocean.

_I miss you, Mika._

He swallowed, shoving his hand into his trousers’ pockets and turned his attention back to Beatrice that was rambling on about something that he hadn’t caught and even though he was trying to focus on what she was saying, his brain was incapable of following her monologue.

But what he didn’t miss was the way Jed called his goodbye over to them – it was halfheartedly reciprocated – and the way the Detective made a beeline for him, her eyes worried as her hands brushed along his chest. He couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face at her concern, because he still couldn’t fathom how he was lucky enough to have her. catching her hands in his he lifted them to his lips to kiss them.

“You okay?”

Damn him, his voice was gentle as he answered, “With you by my side I always will be.”

* * *

Chloe had taken them to the bakery she had worked at on weekends when she had been a teenager – the early shifts spent with Millie who had moved up to Canada and too hot coffee – showed them the corner where she had caught the murderer of Aiden Scott and had become a detective in succession. She showed them the ice cream palace her Dad had always taken them to after school and that was still going strong. She showed Trixie the park that Dan had proposed in, her heart growing in double the size when her daughter beamed up at her. It was telling for Lucifer not to drop a quip, if only for Trixie’s sake. When they were on their way out, he had caught her fingers in his, intertwining them before he had tugged her a little closer, leaning down to her ear to whisper,

“ _When I am going to propose, I am going to do a much better job at it then Detective Douche, love_.”

And her brain had caught at how he had said _when_ instead of _if._

They had eaten at the diner that she spent her lunches with Ella at and Chloe’s gut was churning with slight unease. They were on their way to the cemetery and she couldn’t help but feel stupid. Because it was kind of weird and stupid.

“Turn left”, she told him and Lucifer dutifully set the blinker, shifted the gears, before he turned. 

Lucifer threw her a concerned glance as she swallowed heavily.

“I’m fine”, she said quietly, bringing herself to smile at him, but it was like he could see right through her.

Her Dad would have hated him. The thought made the corner of her mouth twitch upwards. Or at least that would have been what he would have said. It was hard not to adore Lucifer – looks and charm aside – he was honest and blunt and so very loving and carefree when he was allowed. Yes, he was a former addict and former enforcer of a crime syndicate, but he was also someone who was born into circumstances that had forced him into something he would have never chosen and to this day still couldn’t fully escape. He was an abuse victim and a fighter and a _good_ person. Her Dad would have adored him. And that not only for how much Lucifer loved her and Trixie, but for his strength and his wit and his undeniable charm, that even grumpy and overprotective fathers couldn’t escape.

When Chloe tapped his shoulder, indicating that they had arrived, he furrowed his brows and had already opened his mouth as if to ask what the hell they were doing at a graveyard, when understanding dawned on his face.

“Oh”, it was a quiet murmur as he looked at her, his eyes soft. Chloe was opening her mouth – wanting to answer, but Trixie already butted in.

“Are we going to visit Grandpa?”

Chloe blinked the stinging sensation in her eyes away that welled up every time she visited with Trixie. Her monkey would never know how much her grandfather would have loved her, how he would have grinned at her nickname, throwing his own monkey a wink at the mention of it.

“Yeah”, she said. He would have loved being her grandpa.

Lucifer parked and killed the engine, his hand sliding down to squeeze her thigh gently as if to tell her that it would be fine, before he got out of the car, Trixie following him excitedly. Chloe nodded to herself, taking in a deep breath and got out of the car. Was this stupid? Bringing her boyfriend to her father’s grave? She didn’t know. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but either way, Lucifer just patiently waited for her at the gate, reaching for her hand and enveloping it in his fingers. The sun was falling through the leaves of the few trees that were saluting along the path. The gravel crunched underneath her feet. The air was dry and heavy as they made their way along the gravestones, few people around as they each visited their own loved ones.

“Love, should I die please just cremate me and use my ashes as fertilizer instead of this”, Lucifer gestured and finished in a mumble, “ _waste of money and space.”_

His remark had her snapping out of her daze and she rolled her eyes.

“You are not going to die anytime soon, Lucifer. Aren’t you supposed to be immortal? As Satan and all?”

Lucifer snorted an amused laugh, “Touché, Detective, touché.”

“Trix, wait for us!”, Chloe called ahead, trying to keep her voice as soft and low as she could. Shouting at cemeteries was a big no, no – that much even she as an atheist knew. She could practically see her child rolling her eyes as she stopped, seemingly bored to inspect something on the floor.

“So”, Chloe started, not quite sure whether she even wanted to say anything, “I know you will never really meet my Dad in person and maybe”, she blew out a breath, “maybe this is stupid, but –“

“It’s not.” 

She glanced at him, still fiddling with his fingers in hers.

“No?”

He quirked a smile, shaking his head.

“No”, his voice was gentle as were his eyes, “This matters to you, therefore it matters to me. We are partners, Chloe.”

Unable to keep the tremulous smile for spreading over her lips, she let out a long breath that felt like her lungs were relaxing in her chest.

“I love you, Lucifer.”

The smile that lit up his whole face at the words would never get boring. He was beautiful when he was like this with shining eyes and a grin – not cocky or charming or pretentious, but simply happy – that had the corners of his mouth wandering up even further when he reciprocated the sentiment.

“And I you, Detective.”

She leaned in for a quick peck before smiling.

“Come on, Trixie is getting impatient.”

“I can see that”, he relented and let himself be pulled by her, held her hand tighter as if he was sensing the grief that was wallowing up in her.

When they finally stood in front of her Dad’s grave, her lips stretched into a trembling smile.

“Hey Dad”, she whispered, her father’s name painted in shadow, in light as she stepped closer to sink down and replace the candle that had completely burned down already. The little door of the lantern creaked underneath her fingers, as she pulled the old candle out and fiddled with the fresh wick sticking to the wax, her other hand searching for a lighter. Where was that damned thing? Her hands patted her back pockets with no avail.

“Detective”, it was a soft murmur as Lucifer had stepped next to her, holding his own lighter out for her to take.

“Thanks”, she sent him a quick smile and took it from him, flicked it on and lit the candle, before she handed it back to him. He brushed his finger along the back of her hand for a moment, then he made his way back next to her daughter, while she placed the candle back into the lantern.

“Alright”, she murmured more to herself, her fingers softly lingering on the edge of the tombstone, her heart sore in her chest, “Love you so much, Dad.”

_I love you too, Monkey._

That’s what he would have said and she hated the fact that she wasn’t even sure whether she remembered his voice correctly. She got up to her feet again and back to her two favorite persons, stepped behind Trixie and slipped her hands onto her shoulders.

“Right”, she said, not sure what else there was to say, “Wanna say a prayer, Monkey?”

She felt Lucifer’s gaze on her, but she just nudged his side with her shoulder, telling him to just go with it. Her chest constricted a little. He would be so proud of her, of them.

“Yeah, okay”, she agreed easily as if they were anywhere close to Christian. But Trixie cleared her throat.

“Hey, Grandpa”, she started, keeping her voice lower than she normally would, “We haven’t been over that much, because we moved to New York in spring. It’s huge. Like everything is huge there. I think I like Central Park the best. It’s so much fun to play there with the other kids, but it’s also where Mom met Lucifer. He’s her boyfriend now and he’s coming over a lot. He’s so cool – he plays the piano and works at a bar and –“, she glanced up at Chloe, who gave her an encouraging smile, while Lucifer’s arm wound around her shoulder, pulling her into him,

“-and he makes Mom really happy. They always laugh a lot. I really like him.”

There was a pause and Chloe’s heart was trying to burst right out of her chest.

“And can you maybe tell Santa that I want a puppy for Christmas? Thank you, Grandpa. Amen.”

Chloe felt Lucifer next to her shake with suppressed laughter, leaning down to her level to murmur, “I don’t think that that is how praying works.”

“Pssh”, she made, nudging him with her whole body, “it’s sweet. Not everybody can be a member of a Christian cult.”

He didn’t even budge an inch.

“You don’t have to be to know how praying works.”

“Be quiet”, she rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head in amusement. And, still with very apparent amusement on his face, he complied with her wishes.

“Done, Monkey?”

“Yep!”, her kid grinned up at her, twisting for Chloe’s hands to fall off her shoulders, “Can we get ice cream on the way home?”

“Again?”, Chloe frowned down at her, because even though ice cream sounded heavenly right now, she really didn’t want to deal with a Trixie on a sugar high tonight.

“Yeah!”

“Look, I’ll tell you what, munchkins. We will cut up the watermelon we have in our fridge when we come home and take it to the beach, alright?”

“But Moooom-“

“It’s not ice cream, I know”, she sighed, “we can get some more tomorrow, okay?”  
  


Trixie just jutted her lower lip out, clearly not happy about the decision of no more frozen sweets today and let out a deep sigh as she turned to go.

Chloe rolled her eyes. great. Now she would have a grouchy eight-year old on her backseat until they got home.

“Why can’t she have ice cream again?”

Lucifer’s remark was soft and confused as if he was trying to follow her line of thought.

“You remember her sugar high the week before Mom took her to LA?”

A little huff of laughter left her lips at the horror that crept into his expression.

  
“Yeah, that and the fact that sugar isn’t healthy for her in the quantities she would like to consume, so that’s that.”

“Yes, no”, he said, swallowing as he paled, “no second ice cream. I had to toss the slacks because she got sirup onto them. And that is a scenario I’d rather avoid.”

Chloe shook her head fondly, because - really? The slacks were the problem? - before she pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Come on”, she said, “she will pout on the whole ride home.”

“I am disappointed to see how little faith you have in me and my devilish charms”, he winked and she suppressed her grin, because if she could count onto something, it was Lucifer’s ability to crack silly jokes that made her kid laugh.

“Oh, I beg your pardon”, she teased.

Her gaze stuck onto the grave with a last longing glance and a silent “I love you, Dad”, before she turned to leave.

She wasn’t sure whether she had just imagined it, but if she tried to remember hard enough, she was sure she had heard Lucifer murmur,

_“I will take care of them. I promise.”_


	5. Don't let it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan makes an appearance ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello peeps!
> 
> Uni has me on my toes! But I am so grateful for your patience - you are amazing!
> 
> As always : the three asterices *** indicate the beginning and ending of smut for everybody who is not comfortable with it! 
> 
> Enjoy peeps!
> 
> Lots of love

The detective had told Lucifer Dan would come to pick up the urchin, because she had a surprise planned for them, he had been beyond himself with excitement. Said excitement had taken quite the tumble as she had rushed to explain that it wasn’t anything sexual and had to further reassure him that he would like her surprise anyhow just to get him stop pouting. In the end she had given up on her mission with her hands thrown up frustratedly into the air and her turning on her heels, but he had broken out into the previously suppressed grin and caught her in his arms, kissing every inch of the spot he knew she was ticklish at for her to dissolve into breathless laughter.

Finally being able to catch her breath as she wriggled herself out of his grip she had swatted his chest and told him he should make sure Trixie had packed her suitcase and was ready to go, before she made her way over to the bathroom.

So there he was, waiting at the kitchen counter – the picture of Michael and him stretched across his phone screen again and a deep frown on his forehead – while the child was getting dressed in her room and Detective Douche was five minutes late already. Apparently, he wasn’t much in a hurry to collect his daughter and for some reason it irked Lucifer. The urchin deserved better. But she probably did deserve better than only seeing her father for a few weeks a year too. His chest grew a little tight at the thought of the urchin missing her Dad in a way he had experienced it. He had lost his own father to Caelum and the child lost hers to distance. He knew he was only a place filler, was only her mother’s boyfriend, but he supposed he was better than no one.

A knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts and he straightened his posture.

“Urchin, your father is here!”

His feet crossed the room as he pulled the door open, to the same idiot that had insulted the Detective and that he had avoided in order not to start another fight with him. His hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, Daniel pursed his lips. He did have marvelous shoulders in that leather jacket, that he had to leave Chloe at least.

“Daniel”, only because he disliked the man didn’t mean he couldn’t be polite.

“Morningstar.”

He gestured for him to come inside and closed the door softly behind them. What would the Detective do?

“Can I offer you something to drink?”

That was something he could do at least – cordial small talk wasn’t very up his alley, even if he worked in a bar.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Alright”, he mumbled, settling to lean against the counter, while Daniel stood in the middle of the room with a posture that screamed so deliberately cop that Lucifer had to swallow a snort. If he thought he could mark his territory, far be it from him to destroy his blissful delusion.

“Daddy!”, the child dashed out of her room, her backpack slung around her shoulders as she threw herself around her father’s legs.

Every sense of pretense bled out of Detective Douche’s form as he leaned down to hug his daughter, a smile spreading across his face.

“Hey, munchkin. You ready?”

“Yep!”, she beamed up at him, her excitement palpable.

“Then say goodbye and we can go.”

Lucifer didn’t miss the look he threw him, dark, calculating, but before he could wonder what on earth was wrong now, he was distracted by the urchin who wrapped her arms around his hip.

“Bye Lucifer!”, she smiled up at him and he couldn’t help the gentle expression that crept onto his face.

“You have everything, urchin?”

She nodded up at him and he squinted playfully at her, “Your trousers?”

A nod.

“Toothbrush?”

“Yes, Lucifer”, she giggled.

“Miss Alien?”

That had her eyes go wide in realization, before she nodded quickly.

“Yep!”

“Well then”, he mused, his hand absentmindedly brushing across her head, “off you pop then.”

“See you tomorrow!”, she grinned, before she let go of him and hopped along towards her father, whose hand found its way onto the child’s shoulder.

“Let’s go, Trix”, he said with a smile, “you can already go to the car, alright? It’s open.”

At her questioning glance he reassured her, “I’ll be right after you, munchkin.”

She grinned brightly, waved at Lucifer and dashed off. Lucifer furrowed his brows, his hands found themselves in the pockets of his trousers as he cocked his head.

“Look”, Dan craned his neck to make sure Beatrice was out of hearing range, before he came closer, something primal in his posture, something protective.

A bemused smile played with the corner of Lucifer’s mouth, his façade in place. He did certainly not like the obnoxious display of false protectiveness in front of him.

“I get it, you are just trying to do this right, be a good boyfriend or whatever, but Trixie already has a father and that is _not_ you.”

The smile dripped from Lucifer’s lips, replaced by the sudden coldness he felt in his chest.

“I beg your pardon?”, his voice was quiet, but sharp.

Dan’s face was blank in a tightly controlled anger.

“You are _not_ Trixie’s father. No amount of money or necklaces can change that. Know your place and back off.”

With that he pulled back, a flick of his eyes as he regarded him in distaste.

“Right”, he drawled slowly, trying to regain his footing, “have a good one, Detective Douche.”

The other man snorted, shaking his head.

“I mean it”, he hissed, before he turned around and disappeared out of the door. The snap that sounded dimly through the room had him flinching slightly.

_You are not Trixie’s father._

He knew. Bloody hell, of course he knew. He swallowed down the anger that rose in his chest like a furnace, because he couldn’t even blame the man. He had overstepped, had placed himself into the space that belonged to Detective Douche, no matter how much he envied him for it. He shook his head, getting up to pace as if that could help him escape the memories, the unpleasantness of bloody emotions. Doctor Linda had insisted the vacation would do him some good, but where was his therapist, when he needed her? Apparently not in LA.

Letting his head fall back into his neck he sucked in a deep breath through his nose as if he could breathe away the pit in his chest, as if he could steer away from the edge of the abyss that gaped open deep inside his soul and that he had so carefully avoided for decades now.

_This will hurt, boy. And it should. Maybe then you’ll understand how worthless you are._

Another breath as he tried to focus on something else other than the way the hairs on his arms and his neck rose as if they were spikes shaking with the need to defend himself. Just – he just needed something else.

_And I always wished it was you._

_I’m sorry._

_I will be fine. I am not the helpless boy from back then. I will be just fine._

Oh, for fuck’s sake. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his brain, because – focusing on something good couldn’t be that hard could it? He wasn’t the urchin’s father no, but the little one had still kissed his scars, had clung to his side in reassurance when they were out, had snuggled closer into his arms when he had carried her to bed. He wasn’t her father or even her stepfather – a step-devil maybe. His lips quirked up at the thought. 

“Lucifer?”

He perked up at the Detective’s voice, shaking off the cobwebs of his mind.

“Yes, love?”

“Are Trixie and Dan already gone?”

“Yes, he picked her up just now.”

“Okay”, her voice sounded contemplative and his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, of course”, feet made their way down the stairs and he hummed a sound in affirmation, turning around.

All he could make out was a towel slipping off her body, revealing naked skin before his brain seemed to blanche. His jaw got slack as his eyes travelled along Chloe’s naked body, followed the drop trailing between the valley of her breasts, both round and firm, perfect for his hands to squeeze gently, followed the expanse of her belly downwards to the bullet scar he always took his time to kiss, to the junction where her thighs connected to her hip, where she was so sensitive she would squirm in need when he kissed her there. Her legs were long and smooth and strong for them to wrap around his torso. Or his head. It depended. She had shaved _everywhere_ and his mouth watered at the thought of dropping to his knees to latch onto her center, to tease her clit and push her over the edge.

His blood had rushed downwards so quickly he could have sworn he got dizzy from it, before he found his voice, still not able to stop staring at her.

“ _Good morning_ , Detective.”

***

His eyes snapped up to her face at her laugh, because _God_ was she beautiful when she did.

“You know”, she said, pushing her hair back so it fell down in golden waves, the tips wet from her shower. Her eyes twinkled with mirth, “We still have an hour before we have to leave, so…”

“Yes.”

“I haven’t even finished my question”, she grinned, but he shook his head, advancing, his hands not able to decide to where they wanted to wander first, where they wanted to touch first.

“Yes to anything”, he assured her bright eyes, before dipping down to capture her lips with his. The little moan that escaped her had his blood singing as his hand cupped her cheek, the other sliding down to her waist. Her arms wound around his neck and pulled him closer at his groan, her tongue sliding into his mouth and his knees went weak with it.

Before he knew it, her fingers roamed along the row of buttons of his shirt, opening them in quick succession and he shuddered as her nails trailed along his torso down to where his belly dipped into a V and her fingers eagerly below his waistline. The sound that escaped him as her small hand found his erection could as well have been a growl, but lord, felt her hand good. He couldn’t stop his hips from bucking into her touch and he tasted her grin on her lips.

“You are a _wicked_ woman”, he laughed breathlessly against her lips.

“But you love it”, she teased back, tugging at the tails of his shirt as indication for him to take it off and he obliged without releasing her lips from his. One hand slipped down her body to grab a handful of her wonderfully pert arse as soon as it was done ridding himself from his shirt.

Lucifer swallowed the mixture between a squeak and a throaty moan, he himself busy with not coming straight into her hand at how _goddamn_ elefant she sounded, her grip around his dick tightening. There was no way he would skip the main event when he got his Detective presented on a silver platter by no one else than herself.

“Bedroom?”, he panted against her and nearly whined right there when she loosened her grip around him.

“Yeah”, she nodded, her face flushed and her eyes blown wide.

He grinned at her, he had to admit there was a wolfish edge to it, but he would _ravish_ her as soon as they were in her bedroom. Not that he wouldn’t take her right there and now – the thought of it alone made his cock twitch and strain against the fabric of his trousers – but she deserved better than that.

“Lucifer, _please_ ”, the plead had him snapping out of his daze, drunk on her lips and naked skin and his other hand followed it’s elefant vorgänger hoisting her up for her to wrap her arms around his torso.

Her skin was hot to the touch and the way she räkeln elefant into his arms nearly did it for him. Forcing himself to focus on the path up to the bedroom, because tripping down the stairs would end their venture rather drastically he took the stairs with a haste, his lips pressing absentminded kisses to her neck and shoulders, while she clung to him, trying to shake her hair out of his sight, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He couldn’t deny the way his heart swelled in his chest at the gesture.

He shifted Chloe’s weight in his arms to open the door to her room, crossing it in a few steps to carefully lay her down on the quilt that covered the sheets. He pulled away, or at least he tried to, but her arms held him close to her and he had to brace himself with his hand beside her head.

“Chloe”, he laughed, but she just grinned at him and tugged him down with more force to crash their lips together and he let her take the lead. He shivered when her hands threaded through his hair, down his neck and along his sides. Letting his weight be braced by his forearms instead of his hands he dragged his lips away from hers but peppered soft kisses from the corner of her mouth over her cheek, before they morphed into lewd, open mouthed kisses and bites and licks along her neck, that had her sighing and whimpering beneath him.

He loved the way her grin dripped into a long, low moan, his name on her tongue carried the grin right onto his lips. Lucifer finally managed to push down her body, his hands everywhere and not in enough places at once as he caressed her breasts, first the left then the right, teasing her nipples just _so_ with his tongue and careful teeth, as he kissed down her belly, the scar on her hip and slid his hands below her buttocks.

He couldn’t help the self-satisfied smirk that stretched his mouth wide as he held her bucking hips down, his lips ghosting over where she wanted them most.

“ _Lucifer._ ”

Lord, hearing his name like this was a prayer in every sense of the bloody word.

“What, love?”, he winked up at her and she let out a fond huff of frustration.

“Please.”

He pressed the softest peck to her clit. Bloody hell, she had his mouth watering already.

“Please what?”

“Lucifer”, her hand slipped down to tug at his hair, but he tutted and dodged it.

“Please _what_?”

She lifted her head just so to glare at him, but the amusement in her eyes betrayed her.

“ _Please_ eat me out, oh _Great Adversar_ y.”

The laughter that burst out of his chest and from his lips could have been more genuine. He could feel her body shake with giggles in his hands and for some reason he couldn’t stop bloody laughing. Resting his forehead against her thigh, he tried to regain his composure, still shaking with fits of chuckles.

_Please eat me out, oh Great Adversary._

Finally able to get himself to somehow speak through his amusement he shook his head at her, grinning, very sure of having tears in his eyes as his belly hurt from laughter.

“I bloody love you.”

Propping herself up on her elbows she looked down at him, kneeling between her legs.

“Show me?”, she winked, the picture of seduction and playfulness and he flashed her an amused grin.

“With pleasure.”

***

Lucifer squinted at the target at the end of the lane, before cocking his head to look down at the Detective, who was in her element. Her posture radiated a confidence that indicated how she had done this a million times already. Focused her eyes took in the guns in front of them, a Glock and a Beretta, one for her, one for him. He did like his gun to feel a little heavier in his hand. For some reason he found it grounding.

“Detective, far be it from me to question your hobbies, but what are we doing here?”

Chloe halted in her movements, her lip drawn between her teeth as she looked up at him.

“Look”, her arms crossed securely in front of her chest, “I know you are upset. You are angry at Caelum, at your father, at Michael – don’t try to deny it”, she admonished him.

He didn’t. Because deep down he knew it was true. He had offered the loophole of witness protection, but it had been Michael, who had chosen Heaven over him, the same way his father had chosen Caelum over them. Even though he understood – they had been drilled into loyalty, into a twisted sense of obligation– he couldn’t help but resent his twin for refusing it.

“And well”, she continued, her eyes flickering back to the target at the end of the lane, “I can’t count the times I’ve been here on my own, just firing rounds and rounds of bullets to get rid of this… this _sickening_ anger.”

His brows knitted at the way her face scrunched up as she shook her head softly as if she was too far gone in her memories. The need to gather her close in his arms rose furiously in his chest. The rawness in her features took him by surprise when she directed her gaze back at him.

“I know you think I don’t understand and in a way I don’t. I know that. But I know what this feels like. Betrayal. Anger. Feeling like no one understands what you are going through. But the truth is, it eats away at you. Even though you think it hardens you it just destroys everything good you have been building up in your life.”

She swallowed, her lips pressing tightly together as she looked away for a split second, before she met his eyes.

“Don’t let it.”

He swallowed, his throat suddenly so very dry as he tried to come up with something to say, but found nothing. Instead he just nodded, his features earnest, his jaw tight. She held his gaze, something grateful and fiercely protective in it that he loved so much, before a small smile spread across her lips.

“Alright, so”, her fingers tightened around the grip of her Glock, swiping it from the counter, “The principle is very simple. You just need to make sure you distribute your weight evenly, take care of the recoil, it can be a bit surprising, but once you get the hang of it...”

He couldn’t help the amusement that spread across his face, his mouth curling just so as his eyebrow wandered upwards. The fact that she was trying to explain _him_ how a gun worked was incredibly endearing to him.

“Love”, he cut in and her head snapped up to him. Eyes wide and blue.

“Yes?”

“I think I know how to fire a gun.”

She took in his crossed arms as he leaned his hip against the counter, a teasing grin on his lips.

“Oh”, she made, looking down, “oh, yeah. That was… that was stupid.”

She did the thing where she excessively nodded, as if that could distract from the fact that her face was flushing furiously.

“It’s fine”, he said, suppressed laughter in his voice. She was adorable when she blushed. The fact that they had sex before they came here didn’t stop his blood from rushing down and his slacks from getting a little too tight.

“You can always step behind me and guide me, Detective”, another wink that was rewarded with a groan and an eyeroll and it did nothing to calm his hard on.

“Right”, she sighed, patting onto the counter, “this is your stand, I will be over there”, she pointed at the one beside him, “the three magazines are on me. If you want more you need to get them yourself.”

His eyes grew fond as he leaned down to peck her cheek.

“Thank you, Detective. I don’t know what I have done to deserve you, but I appreciate it anyhow.”

“You are welcome”, she said, turning her head to capture his lips in hers and with a soft sigh he melted against her.

“Alright”, she murmured against him, pressed another peck to his lips, “let’s go.”

As she made her way over to her side he swatted her butt, causing her to glower over her shoulder with an expression that told him _if you do that again, you’ll be my target instead._

He snorted, his hand reaching for the ear protection and put it on, his fingers suddenly itching to pull the trigger. He had always abhorred the violence that was strumming underneath his skin, had hated it since he was a teenager. Sometimes it was just so _hard_ to not give in, to not let it consume him, to stay in control. His hands were acting on their own in movements he had internalized decades ago, before he lifted the barrel, his stance widening, his muscles easing into it. His thumb flicked of the safety.

The first shot fell and with that his barriers between himself and the dark pit inside him that he tried so hard to steer away from. Bullet after bullet reverberated in the room, even through his thick earmuffs.

_Samael, please. I need to go._

Another. His muscles welcomed the recoil, embraced it with open arms, while his eyes zeroed out on the black dots on the target.

_Promise me, Samael._

_She deserves better than us, better than our mess._

_It was all for nothing._

_You were the one that left last time!_

In a motion that was more muscle memory than anything else he changed the magazine, before lifting the barrel back up.

**Breathe. Push everything else aside. Just focus on what is in front of you.**

Pulling the trigger again and again. One bullseye. Another.

_I loved you – no, I still love you!_

A grunt escaped him and he tried to unclench his jaw.

_You’re home. I got you, Lucifer._

_You are_ not _her father._

He wasn’t, he really wasn’t and it was all his father’s fault. It was all his fault and god, soon he would be free of him. Soon that bastard would receive the hell he deserved.

_Shh, boy. It’s just fine. It does hurt, doesn’t it? Good._

A growl rose in his throat, for a second he squeezed his eyes shut so tightly stars danced on the inside of his lids. When he opened them again his brain itched to replace the piece of paper with a bulky man, with crooked teeth and shaggy brown hair.

_This is your place. Heaven is a safe haven for even the broken ones. Do you really think someone else would want a damaged toy like you?_

The bullet ripped through the side of the paper target. He needed to get a grip on himself. He needed to get his shaking hands under control. He sucked in a deep breath, the anger in his stomach too heavy, too cold.

_Don’t let it._

His head turned to find Chloe, focused and in her element and damn him, she was beautiful. The muffs sat between the few strands that had fallen out of her ponytail and she looked like she had been doing this her whole life. He resisted the biting laugh that wanted to escape him. They should be spending time at the beach, with their feet buried in the sand and their hair wet from the ocean. They should set timers for them to flip onto the other side in order to get grilled through and through. They should be playing Monopoly with the urchin, not on a shooting range because he was too broken, too angry to be happy. To be properly happy. He set his Beretta down, carefully. His hand came up to rub over his eyes. He needed to see the Doctor once he was back. Even if she came sprouting nonsense like meditation and getting in touch with his emotions. He wanted his emotions to stay where they came from. Buried deep down within himself.

Taking another breath he stared back onto the last magazine. He should fire them, should embrace the meditation aiming provided. Should block out everything else. He could do this. It was something he was good at. The tension rushing through his limbs had settled a little. His fingers found the gun again before he fired the last bullet and switched to next magazine.

* * *

It felt good. It had been way too long for her to let go like this and let herself get lost in the moment. Taking a deep breath she set her Glock down, flexed her fingers, before she looked over to Lucifer. His shoulders were a tight line as he fired – his movements more precise than before. There were two empty magazines on the counter. A little frown sat between her brows. The way the shots had rung through the room had sounded frantic, had sounded like drowning. A shudder ran along her spine.

Like this he seemed collected, deadly, but calm and the respect she felt for him grew as did her surprise. She knew he had been trained well, hell, she had seen it with Michael’s arrival in New York but seeing him fire round after round was something else entirely. A last shot rang out and the tightly controlled tension seemed to bleed out of him. She stripped her muffs off when he put down his gun and she made her way over to him. Her hand found the valley between his shoulder blades and she could feel the tension in his posture bleeding out of his body.

“Hey”, she said and he turned towards her, taking his own muffs off.

“Hello there, Detective”, he said, his voice level.

“You okay?”

Her eyes scrutinized him gently as his jaw clenched and he swallowed as if he was trying to work out what to say. She felt the barest tremor that crept into his hands as he pulled her into his arms and tucked her underneath his chin. Her arms wound around him, her ear was placed on his chest. His heartbeat was slow and calm and strong underneath it. His voice barely above a whisper he answered.

“I am trying. I really am.”

Her chest ached.

“I know”, she hummed against him and squeezed him to her, “It will be fine. We will get there. I am here for you.”

“I know”, he sighed, pressing a kiss to her temple, “I know. I won’t let it take me.”

She knew the last sentence was as much of a reassurance for her as it was for him.

“I won’t let it either”, she said into his chest, the protectiveness that welled up in her coursed through her veins again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also - I have never been on a shooting range or fired a gun, so please be lenient with mistakes and inaccuracies on this side, I tried my best with the research I have gathered!


	6. There was only light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date sprinkled with a bit of past anecdotes and infused with a tiny dash of smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning peeps!
> 
> just a quick note: there is a tiny bit of smut hinted in here for those who are bothered by it so watch out! 
> 
> Also, my beta kitlyn_221B has created an amazing cover for Eden's playground (those who follow me on Instagram might have seen it already) however, I am having issues with putting it in front of the story! If some knows how to put pictures in here - please help! ^^'
> 
> other than that - I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> stay healthy and lots of love!

They lay in the sun, Chloe’s skin already starting to tan as her feet sank into the sand, hot and delicate underneath her soles and between her toes. Lucifer had stayed mostly underneath their umbrella, his long legs stretched out just so that the tip of his feet peeked from behind the rim of shadow. Her book had been abandoned a while ago, her eyes too occupied with reminiscing in the waves that grew into a soothing melody in the background. Rising and receding and rising again like the ups and downs in life did with an eventuality that could be nearly predicted. She wondered whether it would be possible to know the flow of the sea and the behavior of each ripple and wave if one knew all influences on the water. Would one be able to predict every up and down and action in life if one knew what was to happen? Would she have reacted to every single moment in her life the same way as if she was predestined to act like she did? Was there any universe in which she would have forgiven Dan? Any universe in which she would have walked away from Lucifer?

It was the latter’s foot that nudged her out of her thoughts.

“Detective.”

“Hm?”, she made turning her head to catch him grinning at her, “What is it?”

“Go out with me.”

Huh. That was not what she had been expecting.

“What, like right now?”

A nod and a bright smile.

“Yes. Right now.”

As if he had sensed her hesitation he nudged her again, “Come on, it’s going to be _fun_.”

She found herself rolling her eyes at his hopeful expression and relented with a shrug.

“Okay, fine.”

The beam that his face broke into was radiating with joy.

“Marvelous”, he was jumping to his feet already, gathering his towel and clothes in his hand and turned towards her, “What are you waiting for Detective? Chop, chop, we’ve got a reservation we need to make.”

What.

“What?”, she pushed herself upwards, “Since when do we have a reservation? And where? Lucifer!”

He winked at her, “We don’t, but get your wriggle on, will you?”

A disbelieving laugh escaped her lips, but she pushed herself up anyhow.

“Alright”, she said at his impatient gesture, “Alright, I am on my way.”

He held out his hand for her to take and as she slipped her hand into his he pulled her all the way up with ease, pressing a swift peck to her fingers, before tugging her with him.

Lucifer had pulled out his phone on the way back to her Mom’s house, already looking through ratings of different restaurants, tutting as Chloe tried to peer over his shoulder.

“Let yourself be surprised, Detective”, he chided and she let out a groan.

“I don’t like surprises, Lucifer”, she sighed, knowing it was futile to try and change his mind with the level of giddiness he already sported.

He just made a dismissive gesture, shooing her off.

“Love, how about you let the restaurant be my business and get ready instead?”

“You need longer in the bathroom than I do!”

The amount of time this man spent in the front of the mirror to tame the errant curls he sported after a long and eventful night or a dip in the ocean was ridiculous.

“Detective, patience. Not one of your virtues, but there is always room for improvement isn’t it?

She couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling in their sockets.

“You can be such a dick sometimes.”

That had him actually looking up from his screen, throwing her a wide smirk along with a wink.

“This morning you were very partial to said dick, Detective.”

“Oh my god”, she resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands, because yes, this part of his anatomy was certainly able to bring her close to ecstasy and she definitely should have seen that coming, “forget I said something.”

Lucifer barked a laugh, pressing a kiss to her cheek, “Just get ready, love. I’ll try to keep my grooming to a minimum.”

“Mhm, I’ll keep you up on that.”

She really would, because his hair curled in all the right ways, made her want to drag her fingers through the mess and tug him down to her level. Black and with a life of their own they made him look younger, more carefree than she had ever seen him. She bit her lip in contemplation, before stretching onto her tip toes, her hand in his neck to pull him down to her level.

She swallowed his surprised, yet pleased sound with her lips, relishing in how he melted against her. She barely managed to stop the smile that spread across her mouth as she let her hands travel further up and dragged her fingers through his hair, still a little wet, but soft and warm. She could feel Lucifer’s amused huff against her lips, their kiss deepening before she pulled an inch away. The hoarseness of her voice struck even to her as seductive.

“You should wear your hair like that more often.”

She slowly let her eyes slide open to catch his amused gaze as he pressed another peck to her lips.

“Not going to happen, love. My apologies.”

At the way her face fell he added, “But – if you are willing to strike a deal…”

“Oh shut up”, a smile broke loose from the confinements of disappointment, giggles following, “I’m not gonna blow you each time I want you to wear your hair like this.”

\---

True to his word, Lucifer had shooed her off in order to make his reservation after he had finally found a restaurant he deemed worthy. While he was happy to wolf down the greasy hot dog at one of the stands on the street, he was very picky when it came to taking her out. Chloe’s fingers sorted through the different layers of fabric. As much as she would like to wear her blue shirt again – it was her favorite after all – she should probably wear something nicer, if she followed her intuition about her boyfriend. The white summer dress was just a little too short for her to wear it in public, even though Lucifer would be delighted in how much leg it showed off. As predictable as some of his habits were – going for a smoke after a conversation with emotional depth, reaching for something to drink each time he wanted to make a point, hogging the blankets and rendering her unable to move with his limbs at night – it still confused her how a man could love junk food so much and still be a complete snob when it came restaurants – everything under 5 stars apparently didn’t fly.

The black dress she had worn on the first time she had visited Y’s Gawen was slightly too warm for the California heat, but the one she only had to wrap around her middle should work just fine. The billowing sleeves and the delicate pattern of blushing peonies did add a little something to her normally so plain wardrobe. There she had said it. She was a plain Jane. But that was fine. She’d welcome the simplicity anytime if it meant that they could avoid the complicated mess that was their lives back in New York.

“Be ready in 20, Detective!”, Lucifer called from the hallway, while she readjusted her bra’s straps, turning in front of the mirror to make sure they were hidden underneath the layer.

The door creaked open as Lucifer came in, in the process of unbuttoning his shirt as his eyes caught her and he faltered.

“Detective”, he said, his voice a hint of surprise and awe in them. She sent him a smile, tugging at the hem of the dress.

“It works, right?”

She turned back to regard herself in the mirror and he seemed to manage to shake himself out of his trance as he took a step towards her, catching her eyes in their reflection.

“You look stunning, love”, his words were barely above a whisper as his arms slid around her torso, pulling her into him, while his chin settle on her head.

His curls stuck from his head, still damp and black, while a smile played with his lips. Her comparatively small form complemented his tall one perfectly and for some reason she was reminded of puzzle pieces. Her hand slipped down to hold onto his as she regarded them. The sun had helped to make the few wrinkles around her eyes fade, her hair lighter than it had been in New York, the sun bleaching it after so many days at a place as cold as up there. Even Lucifer looked younger here, more relaxed. Life had left undoubtedly its traces, in faint lines around his eyes and mouth, only there if you wanted to find them in a familiar face. If one saw them together like this one could assume they had been holding each other for their whole lives, had stuck together through all the odds since they were young and a part of her yearned for it at the pressure of his head on hers, his soft hum vibrating above her temple. His chest was warm against her back and she released a soft sigh as she leaned further into him. 

“Well, look at us, Detective”, he purred gently, a sigh escaping him as the gaze he sent her through their reflections was downright loving, “I can’t decide whether I want to ravish you right here and now or whether I want to stare at our reflections and marvel in how stunning we look together.”

Chloe chuckled at that and at how he nuzzled his cheek against her temple, the stubble of his bread scratchy against her skin. He seemed torn between the obvious innuendo of how much better they would look naked and apparently being as starstruck as she was about how they seemed to fit like two puzzle pieces.

She directed her gaze back, because they did look stunning. Even if he was still disheveled from the beach, they were quite the match. Her skin had already started to tan, while Lucifer’s cheeks were just carrying the slightest shade of pink. He had probably forgotten the sunscreen when they went out to the shooting range.

In her childhood bedroom he seemed a bit like a stranger – too tall and too dark and too handsome. But then again, he was the person she had been dreaming up in her bed when she had been a teenager, single and heartbroken and frustrated with the quality of teenage boys. And now here he was, loving and protective and funny and absolutely adorable with her daughter. Yes, he was hurting more often than she would have liked, but it would be fine, because she would be right by his side and help him pick up his pieces.

“What are you thinking about?”, he rumbled against her, pressed a kiss to her temple, while his fingers found hers and intertwined them.

She made a soft sound at the back of her throat, “You. Us, I suppose.”

The hum of approval carried a hint of mischief.

“You too?”

“Yeah.”

She should have known where his mind had gone, when he pressed her closer against his chest, the one hand that wasn’t holding hers slowly wandering up her waist.

“Us, naked in front of this mirror. Detective, it’s like you read my mind”, she let out a laugh at his excited purr, his hand coming up to cup her breast – god, his hands were huge compared to her – his erection digging into her lower back and it sent arousal along her belly.

“This dress on the floor”, he murmured, “Or halfway down your body, so I can see every delicious inch of you.” A sigh that could have been his or hers, she wasn’t sure, “You are so wonderfully responsive, love.”

So, it had been hers. He bent down to press kisses along her neck, his teeth teasing her skin, while he held her in place with their joined hands. The other slipped from her chest down along her body until he was cupping her, electricity flowing in her veins as her eyes slipped shut.

“Detective”, she shuddered at how he could turn her title into _this_ , “eyes open. I want you to see what I do to you.”

With a swallow and a breathless sound she opened her lids, catching his gaze in the mirror, dark and hungry. Her cheeks had flushed, with arousal or embarrassment she didn’t know.

“ _Yes_. Like this, love.” 

She couldn’t tear her eyes from their joined hands, her so tiny and frail in his. His body curled around hers, strong and tall and suddenly his fingers curled just so that they brushed her clit through the fabric. A choked off moan escaped her as Lucifer chuckled behind her. Her eyes had fallen down to where he was cupping her and she felt her cheeks flush with how much it affected her. Her hips jerked in his grip and she could feel him grin against her neck. His breath hot, it wandered further upwards as he nipped at her ear.

“I will get ready.”

A quick peck to her cheek and then his warmth was gone. Flustered she blinked, her brain not catching up with what was happening.

“What?”

Lucifer let out an amused sound at how disappointed she sounded.

“We can’t be late”, he called lightly over his shoulder, nearly out of the room and on his way into the shower, “We have a reservation and all that.”

\---

“Yeah, well”, she bit her lips and glared at him in mock frustration, “you would be too if you were left all hot and bothered.”

“That bad?”, she looked up to see him regarding her with something that looked like pity and she let out a groan.

“Never mind”, she said, finishing the complicated construction on her other foot as well, “Let’s just go. As you said we are going to be late.”

He gave a vague sound of approval as he helped her up onto her feet, holding the door open as they made their way out of the cottage. Chloe visually checked whether she had left any windows open.

“You know”, Lucifer said as he ushered her out of the house and pulled the door close and locked it, “in case the _issue_ becomes too pressing, there is always the possibility of the bathroom, love.”

“Lucifer, I am not gonna let you get me off in a bathroom stall”, she swatted his chest, “That’s ridiculous.”

“But they do have extraordinary mirrors”, he tempted.

Chloe stopped in her tracks because _what the hell_.

“Did- did you look at their toilets?”, she balked a little, but seriously, who did that?  
  


“Naturally, Detective. Come on”, he slipped his hand into hers, intertwining their fingers to tug her along, “we are going to be late indeed if we bicker along.”

“You are”, Chloe followed him without protest, something like a exasperate, but fond smile playing with her lips,” so weird.”

It seemed that Lucifer had planned the whole evening through in surprising detail as he parked what was apparently a ten-minute walk along the coastline from the restaurant. He opened the door on the passenger’s side.

“Thanks”, she said, slipping out of the car and stretched up to press a soft kiss to his lips and felt him smile against her mouth.

“You’re so welcome.”

His voice was barely above a whisper but infused with adoration that had her whole body tingling in contentment and excitement. She waited, the warmth of the slowly caving day lazily dragging itself along her skin, as Lucifer slammed the door shut and turned, his hands checking pockets for the usual and when he was satisfied, he nodded to himself and to her as he reached out. Their hands tangled up in each other, nearly by the force of habit, an anchor just to be near each other, to reassure themselves that they could. Lucifer led them, in content silence out of the parking lot and towards the boulevard, he refused to walk in the sand, which she understood. He couldn’t get sand into his _beloved_ Louboutins.

The cries and laughter of people bustled in the air, made it busy with life. Roller skaters and skateboards – or every other variety of a skateboard that she didn’t even know the name off anymore; consider her old – clicked and clacked and rolled along the plaster. Lucifer and she were dipped into shadow, were dipped into sun and then shadow again as they made their way along beside the palm trees. She glanced form the kid, that had dropped her ice cream in a delighted giggle as if to spite her mother and to get another cone, up to Lucifer. A smile, but not quite a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, while the lines of his face were utterly relaxed. She had never realized how controlled and tense he held himself, as if relenting his grip just a little would have him come apart at the seams. But now the hard edge in his shoulders was gone as was the invisible force that had straightened his spine all the way up along to his neck. Now he just seemed at ease and it had her heart flutter.

A part of her wondered whether Eve had ever seen him like this, back in England or whether this was a version of Lucifer only she got to see. Whether it was a part of Sam that had never even existed and had so very uniquely become Lucifer’s.

She had looked up Samael after he had told her his old name back at home. The punisher. The wrath. The venom. Of god, obviously. She had seen him, _that_ him peek behind the walls Lucifer had erected around himself, seen him flicker in and out of focus. But like this? Them walking hand and hand along the Ocean front walk, Venice beach stretched out in front of them? There was no trace of venom or wrath or punishment. There was just light.

Bumping into his side, nuzzling his arm with her cheek she looked up at him.

“Hey there.” She kept her voice low, private as if there was something private about a _hey there._

“Hello, Detective”, he smiled back, just as quiet as her.

“Tell me something?”

She didn’t know where it came from, but there was something inside her yearning for more information, for silly anecdotes, for stories of maybe vacations and childhood stories of Michael and him.

“Tell you what?”, he sounded amused as he glanced down at her as she shrugged, peering up at him.

“Anything”, she said, “about yourself.”

Instead of tensing as he normally did he just hummed a sound of understanding, his thumb drawing circles along the back of her hand, “I see.”

“Did you know I had my first time with a lovely chap in the back room of the tavern in our village?”

Chloe’s jaw fell, a delighted laugh as she looked up at him, curiosity and intrigue shining in her eyes. Why was she not surprised to get a story like this?

“Really?”

He nodded down at her, a flashing grin, before a reminiscent sigh slipped past his lips as if dwelling in memories brought back all the best feelings.

“Raj”, he mused, his gaze far away for a moment, “so fit.”

“And?”, she nudged his side, timid to tear him out of his memories, too nosy for her own good, “How was it?”

He gave her a laugh, so utterly open and amused as he was clearly still not quite back with her as he gazed past her, before his eyes found hers for a split second.

“It was a mess. A glorious one, but a mess nevertheless. But, lord the fingers of this man were actually divine”, he sent her a wink, while something impressed and awed lingered in his features, “he did this thing to my arse that made my eyes water.”

Chloe couldn’t help the blush that spread across her cheeks, a mixture between pure mortification - because she really didn’t need _that_ much more information - and curiosity. Dammit she was way too deep into it by now. She also couldn’t help how her eyes fell to his lips, his tongue flitting out to wet it, full and pink and she yearned to suck it between hers.

Enough with it, Decker. You are a grown woman, for fuck’s sake.

“And well”, he relented, “it’s with all things, definitely easier the second time around, but the reward is worth the initial discomfort.”

Chloe shook her head lightly, not quite there with him, because if there were many things she had experimented with, anal had definitely not been something she had enjoyed a whole lot.

“You sound happy”, she finally said, her gaze taking in the way the corners of his mouth curled up just so, his eyes so relaxed and downright content it still took her by surprise. The scope of how deep his protective barriers had reached back in New York still baffled her. And the fact it was his past back in Wales that had him smiling like this was even more astonishing.

“Hm?”, he cocked his head, considering, getting what she meant in an instant and as he answered without deflecting with humor, she could have wept, “Well, I have to admit Raj was a marvelous fellow. Not only because of the sex, even though that was great as well, but – father – the conversations we had. He’s incredible intelligent”, he looked down at her and it seemed to her that he was looking down on someone very different instead.

“You would find us in deep in discussions about monarchy more often than not, weirdly enough”, his brows furrowed as if it only occurred to him as strange just now.

For a while they continued walking as he trailed off. For good measure she squeezed his hand a little tighter and her smile grew a little wider as she leaned into his side, her other hand slipping between his and wrapping itself around it as well.

“You know?”

There was something softer in his voice, something pensive.

“I think he might be the reason I couldn’t be brainwashed the way they washed most. He’d poke and turn my words around, show me how inconsiderate some of my believes were. I always got annoyed at him when he came up with Bible verses and other Christian inspired literature, but without him I would’ve never stumbled across the whole”, he made a gesture with his free hand while she clung to his every word, “ _I’d rather reign in hell that serve in heaven_ thing. And I mean”, the laugh that slipped right out of his throat had a bite to it, “look at me. I didn’t reign hell, I bloody _conquered_ it.”

For a moment the statement took her breath away, for a moment his words seemed to reverberate in her heartbeat. The strength and conviction of a person who had walked along rock bottom, through Hell’s ninth circle and had crawled out of it with wings burnt and flexed in defiance resembled an angel more than any definition that Caelum could have dreamed up.

She felt the peak where his mood shifted into something harsh, something bitter, so caught up in the pain of the past, so she tugged at his hand, pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. It caused him to turn and answer her lips readily as she coaxed him back to reality, to LA and sunshine and beaches. They had stopped, their hands detangled as he cupped her face and kissed her with an enthusiasm that somehow felt like a way out, but it was fine. Because if all it took was her kisses to steer him away from the precipitate of his memories, she’d be happy to provide him with them at any time.

He let out a soft breath, something close to a whine as he pulled away, smiling down at her, her face still cupped in his hands.

“So”, he said, clearing his throat as he obviously tried to regain his composure as he pecked her lips again for good measure, before he caught her hand in his again, “any adventurous ventures in your life? Some girl on girl experience?”

She would have expected him to wiggle his brows suggestively at that, just because it was Lucifer and being inappropriate was literally in the fine print of his person, but it didn’t come.

“Uhm”, she said, thinking back to college, back to where she had tried to find someone, something to dull the pain of her father’s death, “I mean, sure, I went through a phase where I tried to find out who I was”, or had tried out to find out who she could be to just for a while to not be herself, “so yeah, I made out with a fair share of girls in college”, she let out a little laugh, because while it hadn’t been a generally good time in her life, she definitely wouldn’t deny the fun she had had,

“but nothing serious.”

“So”, back was the innuendo in his voice, “anyone recently?”

And there was the eyebrow wiggle she had been waiting for and she let out a groan that was rather directed to the night out with Ella, of which she still couldn’t remember the missing half hour between 8:47 and 9:17.

Lucifer let out a chuckle and nudged her side, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he sensed her hesitation.

“Come now, Detective. Don’t be shy.”

She shook her head, squinting up through the crowns of the palm trees into the blue sky, “Well, I think it was Ella a year ago or something”, she nodded at Lucifer’s inquisitive _oh_? and continued, “we were really, really drunk and that one guy didn’t back off, so we pretended to be a couple and well. We did make out for a smidge longer than we had to, but to be fair, I was really, _really_ drunk.”

“Really, _really_ drunk, was it?”, he teased, squeezing her hand lightly, “But detective, look at all the deep and hidden secrets that are coming up here. Colour me utterly fascinated.”

Chloe shook her head fondly at him, leaning into his side again as they walked. He nudged her side too soon to indicated they had arrived and she let him take the lead as he tugged her along the few stairs – her shoes clicked dully against the dark wood and with a spring in his step he pulled the door open for her to walk through it.

She couldn’t help the brilliant smile that spread across her lips as she entered the restaurant, Lucifer right behind her, his hand hovering over her lower back.

The smell of grilled meat lingered in the air and made her mouth water, reminding her of barbecues on the beach, while the sound of chatter intermingled with the rattling of cutlery and china and the occasional shout of the staff. The room was bright, the walls coated with a color that resembled the beach that stretched its limbs out before them. Open windows carried in the laughter from outside, from the people sitting at the terrace. Lucifer had drawn the attention of the waiter to himself, telling him they had a reservation under the name Morningstar, while she was too busy taking in the room. There was an elderly couple with a terrier underneath their table – the man a picture of innocence as he slipped the dog a bite from his plate, a group of teenagers, chittering and showing phone screens to the others, a black couple and their kid, the mother teasing it about something – a picture of joy, there was a frowning man on a single table, the plate opposite of him half filled. His companion had to be on the toilet.

“Come on, love”, it was Lucifer’s voice close to her ear that tugged her out of her observation, “They have our table ready.”

She nodded hastily looking up at him and he smiled down at her. It made it impossible to keep herself from smiling.

Seated at the table close to the opened window front allowed the breeze to brush the errand strands of hair to be swept out of her face as Lucifer carefully made sure to right her chair before he himself took a seat.

“Well”, he said, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips, “Who would’ve thought that I’d be able to take my busy Detective out for dinner without time pressure on it?”

Chloe snorted a fond laugh, but she knew it was true. Her job and having Trixie around hadn’t exactly made date nights easy, but it had rarely seemed that Lucifer minded.

“Unbelievable”, she agreed with a chuckle and reached for the menu.

While the sun was slowly settling along the horizon, dipping everything into liquid gold, they enjoyed their dinner. Their fingers intertwined ever so often across the table when Lucifer laughed at something she was saying, in huffs of amusement and twinkling eyes. She shared stories of her Dad and her and the twinge of sadness was reduced to the most fleeting vail of fog at the attentiveness with which he regarded her, his thumb brushing over the back of her hand. She hadn’t known that loving someone could feel like this – like there was no hardship they couldn’t overcome because they had _this_ and they had each other, even in times like the months back in New York when sanity seemed to be clinging to a single thread.

She grinned at him when he had the waiter refill her glass of wine. The deep red liquid caught the sun, the complexion breaking in the thin walls of the glass as she took it to take a sip.

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Satan?”, she teased.

“Maybe only really _, really_ drunk.”

She threw him a wink that had them both snorting into their respective glasses, while his gaze turned soft and shining. Her forehead wrinkled in faint concern, the smile still lingering.

“What is it?”

He carefully placed his glass back, blinking with the same blinding smile on his lips as he caught her gaze.

“I love you”, he said, helplessly as if there was nothing he could ever do against it.

“Lucifer”, his name left her tongue in a whisper as she reached out for him, because that was all that mattered in that moment. Him.

“I love you too.”

Catching his fingers between hers she squeezed his hand, opening her mouth to continue, to let him know how much he meant to her, that she had never felt this strongly about anybody else before –

“DECKER!”

Her eyes widened in excitement at the familiar voice and she whirled around in her seat. There Ella was, an excited grin on her face, in one of the dresses Chloe always was surprised to see her wear after only knowing her in geeky shirts and jeans at work.

Her companion laughed brightly, his teeth shining at her excitement.

“I think you have the whole restaurants attention now, Ell.”

Her best friend just made a dismissive gesture and something that could be a snort as she glanced back at the black man and made her way towards Chloe, who just managed to get to her feet, pushing her chair back.

Only seconds later she found herself in Ella’s arms, hugging her tight.

“Hey!”, she said, a smile wide on her face as she pulled back, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, same as you I suppose! And look at _you_ , chica! You rock that dress.”

Chloe rolled her eyes with a fond smile, “So do you” – that red dress was maybe too short for her liking, but damn, if Ella’s tan legs didn’t look to kill for she didn’t know it either.

Ella grinned at her brightly, brushing her hair back, “Thanks, I had this old thing in my closet and I just thought, why the hell not. It deserves to be shown off every once in a while.”

“It most certainly does”, the two women turned to Lucifer, who had risen from his chair, “don’t you look ravishing, Miss Lopez?”

His gaze was appreciative as he regarded her.

“Luce-ifer!”, she hurried to add at his raised eyebrows, “How are you?”

She was about to launch herself at him, but Lucifer somehow dodged her hug with a practiced elegance which resulted somehow into an awkward shoulder squeeze.

“Good, good. Now, don’t be rude, introduce us to your date”, he gestured towards the lanky man lingering behind her, his hands shoved into his pockets as he grinned at Ella’s excitement.

“Oh!”, Ella whirled around as she caught his eyes for a moment, smiling to herself, “Guys, this is Mark!”

Oh, Mark? Chloe just barely kept her lips from quirking into a knowing grin as her eyebrows wandered up her hairline. Lucifer didn’t seem to have issues of hiding the way his face lit up.

“Mark! I see”, with a wide smirk he stretched his hand out,” Lucifer Morningstar, pleased to meet you.”

The star of Ella’s ramblings took the outstretched hand with a grin, “Good to meet you, man. Ell has told me a lot about you guys.”

He let go of Lucifer’s hand and reciprocated Chloe’s initiated hug.

“So –“, Ella grinned at her, “how long have you two lovebirds been here?”

Chloe rolled her eyes at her brows jumping up and down.

“For a while”, she said, now not able to stop herself from smiling, “You two out on a date night?”

Even pressing her lips together didn’t stop the knowing twist around the corners of her mouth.

“Yeah. We had to get out of the station for a while, y’know? It’s been crazy.” The smile on Mark’s face never waned aside from the wrinkle of his forehead as if he was lost in thought.

“I get that”, Chloe nodded.

Ella’s head bobbed up and down in exasperation. “Don’t tell me, I mean, I dropped the last mould of that one footprint, like the clutz I am, but – you know me, Decker – always have a back up.”

Chloe nodded with an amused huff.

“Ell, you have to say, though, that was mostly my fault – if I hadn’t sneaked up on you with that coffee.”

“Yeah, but it’s fine. I needed it, so you kinda saved me over there”, Ella grinned up at him, her hand brushing along the sleeve the olive shirt.

“After an allnighter I’d sure be that clumsy too.”

Lucifer glanced over at her with an amused and knowing smirk on his face that she reciprocated, mouthing _adorable_ past the oblivious faces of Ella and Mark.

“Where’s Trix?”, Ella ducked, as if Chloe’s kid would actually be hiding underneath the table or behind Lucifer’s legs.

“With Dan”, Chloe supplied, “he got her in the morning. A shooting range is no place for a kid.”

“Oh, you two were at the shooting range?”, Mark’s eyes shone with interest, “taught him how to fire, huh?”

Chloe suppressed at chuckle and Lucifer’s grin turned downright predatory as he waited for her answer, leaning casually against their table.

“Well”, she said, her lips pressing together as she thought of what to say, “yeah. Yeah. He turned out to be quite a decent shot.”

Lucifer jaw dropped just so that his mouth hung a little agape, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

_Quite a decent shot?_ he mouthed, indignantly and she sent him a wink as he came closer, winding his arm around her waist and pulled her into his side to lean down to her level.

“Wait until we’re home, love”, he purred, “then I’ll show you how _decent_ of a shot I am.”


	7. Tumbling ash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 16.12.20: I am sorry guys, but the finally chapter will be out a little later due to my hectic schedule! I wanna make sure this story gets the final chapter it deserves!  
> Thanks for your understanding and I am sending you all love!
> 
> Hello peeps! 
> 
> I know, it's a little late - but I made it on time! :D
> 
> Only one chapter to go after this one, then I need to figure out what the hell to write next XD
> 
> I am sending you all my love - 
> 
> driven by caffeine and manic obsession as my dear friend would say, 
> 
> ESH

Mornings had always been Chloe’s favorite – the way the world would slowly peak out of the cover of darkness, the way the first birds stretched their wings along with the sun rising at the horizon and dipped the world in its soft light had always left her in awe. The floor creaked a little underneath her naked feet as she reached for the coffee grounds – still the one Lucifer had been convinced they needed, because he wouldn’t drink any of that watery mishappen ever again. He was such a snob when it came to it, but right now her dear man was burying his face inside their pillow up in her room, his hair a ridiculous mop of curls. She wouldn’t have thought she had any preferences when it came to it, but lately _curls_ were her absolute favorite.

She carefully shoved the coffee grounds into the espresso maker, swiping along the rim to make sure there were no grains left, the lid screwed on and it was placed onto the stove. Mornings were this weird concept of _if you get up soon enough it seems there is an endless amount of time to your day_. Not that it mattered when she was on vacation anyhow, but her workaholic-self had been wide awake at 6:30. Even the enthusiastic rounds of sex couldn’t keep her down and under the covers long enough; neither could Lucifer’s strategically placed arm around her middle that had only tightened when she had tried to move. He was a cuddler through and through and Chloe loved it. He hadn’t appeared as one when they had first met – he had been all cocky and British (when that had become a synonym for unable to get off his pedestal, she had no idea) But well. He was still all cocky and British with the added bonus of him being the biggest cuddler she had ever met.

The low whistle of the coffee maker broke through the silence and Chloe reached out to push it of its heating plate. The sun brushed just so along the kitchen and if it could tickle her skin it would.

The gurgle of coffee finding its way into her cup was a familiar sound in her ear. She didn’t even have to ask herself whether she was drinking too much coffee, because she knew she did, but well, how else was she supposed to last the long nights on the shift? She wouldn’t say she was an addict aside from the fact that she was. At least it was only coffee.

Her eyes wandered upwards as if she could look through the ceiling. Worry. That was the dull knot in her stomach when Lucifer would go out to smoke, his eyes somehow so far away. Was it stupid that a part of her couldn’t help but exhale in relief that it was only cigarettes? She didn’t know whether she would be able to take another _nearly but not quite_ relapse ever again and it scared her to the bone. It wasn’t because she herself couldn’t handle it but because she had seen how low Lucifer had to fall to get to the point of breaking. Now that he had hit rock bottom, she couldn’t help but worry that his walls had been dropping too low. She didn’t know what she would do, should he come home – on drugs – home to her and Trixie. God. A shudder chased along her spine. She wouldn’t let him. She wouldn’t let him bring this anywhere close her daughter. Shitty past and emotional trauma or not. Only over her dead body would she let Trixie get anywhere close of this. The thought alone hurt her heart – because despite everything, she wanted to help and she loved him, God she did.

The floorboard above her head creaked as heavy footsteps made their way down the hall.

“Chloe?”, his voice sounded from upstairs, deep and mussed from sleep through the empty cottage.

“In the kitchen”, she called back quietly, shaking herself out of her thoughts, but she wasn’t able to shake them _off._

The bare feet patted down the stairs. The first thing that met her was the yawn on his face as he saw her, blinking at her with slow eyes, before a smile pulled along his lips. She did love this kind of smile on him – relaxed, content.

“Morning, love”, he hummed as he made his way over to her and slung his arms around her, his naked skin sliding against her bare shoulders. His nose nuzzled into her hair, pressing a rough kiss to her crown.

“Is there more coffee?”, his voice was low and muffled in her hair.

“Yes”, she tilted her head to meet his lips for a quick peck, “I made enough.”

A content sigh.

“I knew there had to be a reason why I love you.”

Chloe let out a guffaw as he let her go only to poke around the cupboard for his mug. Mr. _My coffee beans need to be of the highest quality_ had literally dragged Trixie’s Tigger cup from New York to LA, because how else was he supposed to have his morning coffee?

“You are an ass.”

He let out a snort, before he sent her a wink over his shoulder. “But you do love my arse, Detective.”

She just rolled her eyes, stretching her neck in mock interest.

“You know, you are so slow, I don’t think you want the rest of the coffee, right? So I can just –“

Chloe moved along the kitchen island and suppressed her giggle as Lucifer snapped around, glaring at her outstretched hand with narrowed eyes.

“How _dare_ you?”

“Dare what?”, she batted her lashes and he let out an affronted huff, putting his cup down with a little more force that necessary. The teasing wrinkles around his eyes betrayed his indignance.

“How dare you –“, he lifted the espresso maker from the stove, lifting its top to inspect the remaining volume, “presume that you, my dear vixen”, satisfied with the result of his inspection he poured the coffee into the mug, “can have the rest of the coffee that you made”, the coffee maker was put back and the cup lifted to his lips, “for _me._ ”

A wink and a small sip with pursed lips. Chloe laughed as he leaned against the counter half naked with an air of egotism and smirked at her over the rim of his cup.

“You are so weird.”

“But you do love it.”

The laugh lingered in his voice.

“I do”, she said, unable to keep the fondness out of her gaze as she caught his eyes. For a moment he held her gaze, before he pushed himself off the counter, crossed the little space between them, his hand finding her cheek as he softly pulled her into a kiss.

“Thank you, love”, he murmured against her lips – they were slowly pulled into a lazy smile, let her words pass in a low hum.

“You are welcome.”

He pulled back with a content sound, leaning next to her, before he took another sip, making drinking coffee half naked in the kitchen into something Buckingham palace worthy. She didn’t know how he did it. No clue.

“So”, he let his gaze wander through the empty room, “what’s the plan for today?”

“Mhm – Dan brings Trixie before he has to head off to work. And other than that – there isn’t much else.”

Lucifer nodded to himself, turning to regard this slightly red shoulders – it somehow didn’t matter how much sunscreen they lathered his skin with; he was sunscreen resistant apparently.

“I am not sure about my partiality with beaches anymore”, he sighed, his brows wrinkled.

Chloe followed his gaze and chuckled.

“Well, you could probably pass as Dracula if you try hard enough once the sunburn wanes off.”

His eyes sparked as he turned towards her.

“Oh”, it’s a low purr on his lips, “Is that an offer to suck your blood, Detective?”

She squeezed her eyes shut as she shook her head, laughing.

“Oh my god – just. Drink your coffee, will you?”

They had taken their cups to the couch, their feet brushing against each other as they intertwined them in the middle – Chloe’s back rested against the one end of the couch, Lucifer’s against the other. His fingers brushed along her ankle, drumming a silent melody against her skin. Drinking in the sight of him she couldn’t help but think he was addictive.

Her eyes regarded his face, tried to read in his expression, while he stared into nothing – there were no lines of exhaustion clinging to him as they normally did. His eyes were full of life, not – not as empty, as desperate as they had been a few weeks ago.

“Lucifer”, she said, snapping him out of his trance. His dancing fingers slowed.

“Yes, love?”

She bit her lip, not knowing how to start, how to transition into it. How did you tell the man you love that should he break again, should he fall back into his addiction and bring it home with him to her, to her _child_ , that he could fuck off? Would anybody else ask her for her advice she would tell them, _bluntly._ Her heart thumped an aggressive beat in her chest at the thought alone. Protectiveness flared inside her chest, made her want to grab Trixie and _run_. Run and keep her save from whatever horror the world tried to throw at her.

But then her gaze met Lucifer’s, soft and warm and suddenly he seemed so _palpable_ , every part of him that made him Lucifer – the parts of Sam hidden underneath trauma and the softness that had been locked away to harden himself. The parts that he had had to forge himself. She rolled the words around on her tongue, letting out a small, woeful sigh.

“What is it?”, Lucifer cocked his head, his forehead wrinkling in concern and he shifted into a more upright position.

There was no soft way to say it, no nice way to bring the message across, but that didn’t stop her from trying nevertheless. Carefully she began,

“You know, I love you, right?”

He titled his head in confusion, yet the gentle smile playing with the corners of his mouth never waned.

  
“So do I, Detective.”

“Okay”, she said, pulling her lip between her teeth, tugged.

Lucifer sat up – a hint of agitation in his features.

“What is it, love? You look like you’ve got a bee in your bonnet.” A teasing glint peaked through the worry.

Chloe swallowed, hating the fact that she had to drag it up – again.

“About what happened last month-“

The moment he fell over the precipice was accompanied by dread. The very same dread in his eyes he had been carrying around for so long and it had been finally _gone._ It crept back into his eyes, into the lines around his mouth – the very same a harsh line itself – his shoulders.

She swallowed as if to sooth the burn in her chest. She needed to get this out. Even if she didn’t like what it did to him. She had to.

“I know it was a _horrible_ time for you. I understand that, okay?”

She nodded as if to get him to nod too. He did, slowly, wary.

“And I meant what I said, Lucifer. You are so _strong._ I know that nothing about this is easy, but –“

“I meant what I said too”, he interrupted and her mouth snapped shut as she directed her full attention towards him. His voice carried a faint edge of desperation. “I am trying.”

“I _know_ ”, Chloe reassured him, her hand finding his knee as she sat up, her finger’s caressing his skin. She swallowed the lump in her throat at how he felt he needed to reassure her. “I know. And I am so proud of you. But Lucifer –“

Her eyes found his and she willed everything inside her for him to understand.

“Something like this cannot happen around Trixie.”

His face fell. She ducked her head, trying to catch his gaze that did the same.

When she did, she tried not to flinch at the indignance, at the frustration in them. Lucifer shook his head, stared back at her.

“I would _never_ do anything to harm Beatrice.”

The trembling ferocity in his voice didn’t even take her by surprise, because she _knew_. God, she _knew_ that. He had nearly shot his own twin – the man he had sat at the piano with, laughing and content – into the head to protect her. But still – it was her Trixie. Her baby. She nodded. Tried to tell him that she believed him, for heaven’s – fuck’s – sake.

“So you understand why I am bringing it up?”

She didn’t manage to raise her voice above a whisper. Chloe received a nod. Curt and impersonal. His jaw worked in frustration as he pulled his long legs back to his body, pulled them away from under her fingertips. 

“It will not happen”, he said and even as low as it was it sounded like an oath, “I will not let her be harmed, not if I can stop it.”

She tried to reach out, but all she managed was a soft, “Thank you.”

He pulled away; his body, himself and only then then she did reach out in a desperate attempt to hold him. Lucifer caught her fingers in his, lifted them to his lips.

There was resignation in his eyes, something haunted, but he pressed another soft peck to her knuckles.

“I’ll be out for a smoke.”

Worry. Relief. All of the above. Chloe nodded.

“Okay.”

With a last, soft quirk of his lips he made his way up the stairs to retrieve his lighter and cigarettes. Whatever she had hoped would ease around her heart didn’t, but they were getting there. They were trying. Together.

* * *

Lucifer stepped out onto the porch, a shirt pulled over his head and then his torso as he let himself fall onto the wooden bench, already warm in the early morning sun, and flicked his pack of cigarettes open. There was only one missing in the neat three rows.

Tucking another one of them between his lips, he let his lighter flick on – took in a drag. The nicotine tasted bitter on his tongue and he reveled in it. The vice around his chest that had been delightfully absent had snared back around his ribcage and he inhaled another lung of smoke as if that could ease it. The urchin. As if he would ever let harm get anywhere near that little girl. Over his dead body. He wanted to say he was offended or surprised by the Detective’s words, but he was neither. How could he, when they were the exact same thing he had chanted inside his head? It couldn’t happen around the child and besides that it could never happen again. A shudder ran along his spine at the mere thought of how bloody _close_ it he had come to spiral back down into his addiction, how narrowly he had tethered along its edge.

There had been low points in his life, hell, it had consisted out of nothing but them for years, but last month – Lucifer swallowed the lump in his throat and lifted the cigarette up to his lips, his fingers trembling despite him not wanting them to. The last month had torn the floor from underneath his feet in a way he had never experienced with the exception of Eve’s death. The rest of the muck up that was his past he had anticipated – he had anticipated the guilt and the pain and the desperation. But realizing that the chasm between Michael and him had been for nothing and now Mika was gone – _again_ – broke his heart in a way little had before. Eve – the one person he had trusted more than anyone, more implicitly than anyone before had lied to him, had betrayed him. He shook his head, unwilling to follow his thoughts into the abyss of his mind. It had never done him much good anyhow.

Focusing on what he could do, what he could change was something he had always been good at – quick thinking and execution. An enforcer in his element. All that counted was the fact that the mission had been accomplished, possible deviations counteracted in a way that they wouldn’t influence the outcome. It was how his mind had been trained.

_Breathe. Just focus on what is in front of you_.

He scoffed – another drag as he tapped his cigarette, ash tumbling in the soft breeze. The light caught in his ring and for a split second he halted in his movements.

_Happy birthday, Sam_.

He blinked forcefully, shook off the remnants of long gone days. It astonished him how his mind had the ability to let himself tumble down to the pits of hell. It didn’t even have to drag him and force him, no – he followed willingly like a soldier his commander, loyal to his self-destructive tendencies like a dog to its owner. It was ridiculous.

The sun soothed his skin and he decided he liked LA like this. In the early mornings the air carried just enough warmth to not make him want to hide in a basement until the sun had disappeared again. Over the sounds of seagulls he heard a car engine rumbling faintly before it. Detective Douche was earlier than he had anticipated. Not that he minded having the urchin around. It was preposterous how much he had missed the little imp back at home. But – he wasn’t her father. That was a good thing, he assumed. Had he really become that overbearing? He inhaled and his chest faltered at the child’s excited shriek and Chloe’s laughter from the inside. This was his family, or so he had thought. Was it? Was he even allow to call them that? But then again, Chloe had said so as had the urchin, early on in their friendship. He knew he shouldn’t listen to Daniel, pay his words no mind, so why couldn’t he do exactly that?

Lucifer let out a bitter huff of a laugh, regarding the stump dangling between his fingers with mild curiosity. Hadn’t he just ranted about his tendency to ruminate? There was an excited giggle inside, feet patting along a floor. He let his gaze be dragged towards the sea – or at least the sand dunes hiding the ocean like a well-kept secret. The door to the porch swung open. His head turned just to see the urchin grin at him and despite himself his mouth quirked into a smile. He hastily sat up and ground the cigarette out in the ash tray in front of him.

“Urchin”, he said and regarded her as she waddled around the table. What was she doing? The child climbed onto the bench next to him.

“Hey Lucifer!”, she chirped up at him and he raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“How was it at your father’s?”

Beatrice nodded, brown curls jumping excitedly and not for the first time she reminded him of a puppy herself.

“It was good.”

Silence filled the space between them and Lucifer couldn’t help but tilt his head. There was something secretive around her that he couldn’t decipher. Was it the fact she was suspiciously quiet? Most probably. He heaved a melodramatic sigh and turned towards the child next to him.

“Out with it, urchin. What is going on that miniscule head of yours?”

She squinted at him in confusion. “What does minnie-scool mean?”

“Little – or well, very tiny”, he provided and she nodded with a concentrated frown between her brows as if she tried her best to commit the word to her mind.

“So?”, he helped her along, a gesture with his now free hand.

She bit her lip, the same mischievousness that her mother possessed in her eyes. He sighed softly to himself, knowing that – should it not be a Golden Retriever again – he would give in into _anything_ the child wanted.

“You know, I made Mommy that necklace, right?”

“I am aware.”

“And I made something for Daddy too and for you!”, her voice ended on an excited note and Lucifer’s heart grew three sizes too big in his chest at the gesture. It was endearing.

“You did?”

“Yep!”, she grinned up at him, “You wanna see it?”

“Do I ever?”, he drawled, sending her a wink. The urchin giggled and dug in her shorts’ pocket only to pull a string with white little pearls out of it.

“It’s a bracelet”, she explained as he ducked his head to inspect it, “it says _Lucifer_ on it.”

“Oh?”, he made, touched by the gesture. It seemed that his bout of affection was reciprocated if the child did think of him at one of those amusement weeks for hellions.

“Yep”, she made and dangled it close enough for him to reach out and take it, but his raised hand halted on the way upwards at her expression.

“I sense a ‘but’…”

There it was – the purse of her lips as if not to grin triumphantly – she had definitely inherited the deviousness of her mother. 

“We can make a deal”, she started, the voice and demeanor of a master negotiator that had his eyebrows raising in amusement as he barked out a laugh.

“Aren’t you quite the deal maker?”

“Thanks”, she grinned at him.

“Ready to make a deal with the devil?”, he teased and the urchin nodded in excitement, before the pervious earnestness crept back onto her face.

“You can have the bracelet”, she played with aforementioned bracelet,” that I _made_ for you, but…”

Did the bloody urchin just trail off? He was waiting…?

“But?”

She bit her lip, the self-assured glee waning faintly and made way for a nervous flicker in her eyes, “but if you want to have it, you have to stop smoking.”

He blinked, surprised. A puppy? Yes, he definitely had anticipated that, same was true for chocolate cake, but this…?

“It’s not good for you”, she added quickly as if he needed any more convincing. His chest constricted for a moment – tremulous and sharply – his gaze wandering from the little girl in front of him to the bracelet in her hands.

_Something like this cannot happen around Trixie._

As if there was even much of a choice to make. He should definitely question how easily he gave into the Decker women’s requests.

He held out his hand, palm up for her to put the bracelet into it.

“Alright.”

“Really?”, her face lit up in excitement and for a second his eyes flickered to the pack in front of him. Withdrawal would be a right bastard, but he knew he should stop. He should have stopped a long time ago.

“Yes.”

Her wide eyes searched his as if she couldn’t believe it worked.

“Well, are you going to hand it over or not? I take my comment on the deal maker back –“

Beatrice shoved the bracelet into his hand, a bright smile taking over her face and with a happy sound she plastered herself against his side, her tiny arms coming just so around his torso.

His breath left him in a rush as he lifted his arm, before letting it come around her small form to squeeze her.

“Thank you, Lucifer”, she whispered.

He hummed a slow sound. His mouth tasted faintly of smoke.

“I think I rather have to thank you, urchin.”


	8. (like a you or a me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there peeps! 
> 
> First of all Merry Christmas and thank you for your patience with the final chapter! The last week quite literally took the wind out of my sails and even though I am not quite where I want to be with my stress levels, I have finished the final chapter! 
> 
> Without further do and the hope you are well and stay well, let's get to this!

“Hey”, Chloe’s voice was soft over the sound of the sea and the gulls as she let herself sink onto the bench next to Lucifer.

Trixie was currently stretching her feet across the couch inside in the living room, buried in her book after the whole afternoon spent on the beach. The chase after the waves had tired her out enough for the well of exuberant glee to lay bare as she nuzzled into her soft blanket.

“Hello, love”, Lucifer said, his voice deep and calm. He didn’t open his eyes but lifted his arm to let her curl into his side.

She followed his cue without hesitation, carefully shoving the pack of cigarettes onto the table that she had just fished out of the trash can. At the sound he peaked, an eye flickering open, before he just let out a short sigh and pulled her closer.

“Found them in the trash”, she hummed, unsure of how to interpret the gesture, “any reason for that?”

Lucifer just nodded as he nuzzled her hair. “I did strike a deal with the urchin – got this out of it.”

There was an ounce of pride in his voice as he shook his wrist, the little bracelet Trixie had showed her before dangling from it. Chloe’s lips curled into a smile.

“I see. And what did my cunning daughter trade the bracelet in for?”

“She takes after you, Detective”, the amusement left his voice in a huff and Chloe couldn’t deny it.

“So?”

“I quit”, his tone serious, he opened his eyes as she shifted to catch his gaze. There was an earnestness in his expression as he let his head rest against the wall of the cottage. Her eyebrows raised in slight surprise. She had suspected it but hadn’t wanted to assume.

“I should have quit a long time ago – it will do wonders for my stamina”, he added with a smirk as if to overplay the fact that he just announced to lay off of cigarettes. After how many years? It must be surely something around twenty.

“That’s”, Chloe swallowed and tried to piece together the mess in her head and finally settled, “That’s huge.”

Her lips tugged up by their own violation and the pride that rose in her chest didn’t let itself be tamed.

“I suppose it is. But”, he sighed, tearing his eyes away from hers to let them settle somewhere in the distance. His hand nudged hers under the table and she slipped her small hand into his, held it tightly. He nodded to himself.

“I want to do this the right way. I am aware I will never be the urchin’s father or anything like it, but whatever we are, I want to –“, another swallow as his voice dropped, “I want to be good.”

His gaze caught hers again and the hint of desperation in his eyes had her chest contracting. She sat up, pushed away.

“For you. For the child. I want to do this the right way. For once.”

“Lucifer -”, he had barely finished his sentence, but she couldn’t – how could he think he was anything _but_ good for them? She tugged at his hand as if it could prevent him from looking away.

“You already are. You are so good for us. I know I have told you this so often, but you make me laugh more than I have in years and I don’t know who or what has you so insecure about Trixie, if it’s because you’re infertile or something else, but she _loves_ you. She gets so excited whenever you are around. And the way you just – “, she was blinking away the burn in her eyes, because damnit, how could he even think that? No one had ever been able to give and give and give, just to make sure Trixie and her were okay and happy and content.

“You just told me you’ll quit smoking because my daughter asked you to and that – Lucifer, that means _everything_.”

The grip around tightened and the little furrow between his brows grew as his eyes grew glassy.

“Okay?”, she added softly and he nodded, lifting their hands to his lips and pressed a kiss onto her knuckles.

For a moment they lingered, before she slipped back into the space by his side, pressing a peck to his side. The sound of the ocean filled the space between them, before Chloe spoke up again, her voice a gentle sound in the breeze.

“So… you’re gonna wane off? Is there anything, you know, I can do to help?”

Lucifer let out a hum and pressed her closer to his side, resting his cheek at the top of her head.

“No. I’m not going to wane off. Tried that before. It never worked.”

She froze in his arms, wanted to turn, but his arm held her steady. Her brows furrowed tightly as she worried her lip between her teeth. She wanted to look at him, wanted to read in his face, but instead she forced herself to stare out onto the weeds swaying in the low gusts of air.

“You are going to quit cold turkey?”, she didn’t manage to keep the disbelieve out of her voice, “after 20 years of smoking?”

“Been through worse”, he murmured into her hair.

“But –“

“Love, I know withdrawal is going to be a right bastard. Believe me, I do. You asked what you can do to help, so I am going to ask you to excuse my atrocious mood right away.”

“Are you sure?”, she couldn’t help but feel desperate. Yes, of course she wanted him to quit smoking, yes of course she was glad, but nicotine withdrawal was nothing to take too lightly. “You don’t want to consult a doctor or…?”

“Chloe”, she paused in her ramblings, “It’s going to be alright.”

His voice was deep and soothing in her ear.

“It’s going to be tough. I am going to hate every bloody second of it, but I will get through this. We are on vacation. And as sorry as I am to be a spoilsport, there is no urgent matter I have to attend to right now. It would be a crime to let go of that opportunity. As I said. I have been through worse.”

Mollified, but not convinced she let herself sink further into him, mentally writing herself a note. Stock up on ibuprofen. Research the hell out of this.

“Right. Okay”, she murmured, not sure what else she could do. Her gaze dropped to the pack on the table.

“Whatever it is, you need to tell me how else I can help, when I can, okay?”

Lucifer didn’t miss the urgency in her voice.

“I will, love. I promise.”

Releasing a long breath she let herself believe his words, let herself be soothed by his rising and falling chest, by his heartbeat underneath her ear and his warmth seeping into her side.

“It was something Daniel said.” 

She turned, confused.

“What?”

Lucifer’s swallow was loud enough for her to hear as he repeated, “It was something Daniel said yesterday.”

The wheels in her head kept turning and shifting, before she understood what he didn’t want to add.

“Oh”, she made, “you mean in regard to Trixie?”

A curt nod, his arm twitched, before he let out a grunt – a mixture between bitter amusement and annoyance.

“Put those blasted things away, will you, love?”

Chloe’s eyes flicked up, before she quickly swiped them from the counter and placed them somewhere out of his sight. The low sigh that left his mouth ruffled her hair as he lowered his head to brush a kiss to her crown.

“Thank you.”

She nodded, her fingers squeezing around his once more, before they drew slow patterns onto the back of his hand.

“You were saying?”

Irritation crawled up along her skin. Why could Dan not shut up for once in his life? She didn’t even know yet what he had said, but from what she could sense it could be nothing good.

“Well”, with a swallow Lucifer shifted in his seat, clearing his throat in an attempt to appear nonchalant, “as our dear Detective Douche so kindly reminded me, I am not Beatrice’s father, but he is. So –“

“Lucifer –“

“No. He is right, Detective.”

“Look, this – “

“I am _not_ her father. I won’t ever be her father.”

“This is not how this works!”, her voice was desperate, trying to tear him out of his one-track train of thought.

“I need to quit acting as if I was.”

Chloe turned in his embrace, unable to sit still as her stern glare met his eyes.

“ _Let me finish_.”

At that he actually shut his mouth and Chloe’s brows rose in a bout of surprise. Quickly catching herself, she detangled their fingers, only for her hands to come up and cup his cheeks. His stubble scratched her skin gently. 

“This is not how family works, Lucifer”, her grip tightened in a helpless attempt to get him to _listen_ , “It is not about who has the right to love and who doesn’t. Dan loving Trixie doesn’t limit you loving her too. And yes, Dan is her Dad, that won’t change. But his issues with me and his daughter are _his_ to deal with. Okay?”

Lucifer nodded, the furrow of his brows trying to get her to elaborate.

“I will talk to him, because, seriously, I can’t believe him, but – and that’s the important thing – this has nothing to do with you and Trixie. Dan is an ass, but that doesn’t change the fact that – at home – _you_ are there. Because Dan messed it up and that’s why he can’t be there himself. That’s why it’s good that she has _you_ when Dan isn’t there. That’s a good thing. There is no reason for her not to have you both. Okay?”

“I”, he swallowed, “I think I do understand.”

“Good”, she softly pressed her lips against his, before pulling back and nestling back into his side and let him settle his cheek against the crown of her head.

She looked out to the sand dunes and the strikingly blue sky, clouds thin white vails dancing with the atmosphere. Lucifer’s breath ruffled her hair and the air tasted of salt.

Chloe swallowed softly, before lifting their joined hands to press a kiss to his knuckles.

“And you know”, she kept her voice gentle, “if you really wanted to have kids – your own kids … there is a way to reverse vasectomies.”

She waited for a beat and for a moment Lucifer seemed petrified. The gull’s cries filled the silence between them, before –

  
“What?”

It was a baffled sound that dropped from his lips and it struck her that he hadn’t _known_. She kept her voice from shaking at the revelation.

“It is possible to reverse vasectomies, even if they go back years. If you ever wanted to. It’s not cheap, god no, and there is no guarantee that with everything else going on, it will work for, you know”, she tried to ignore how terrifyingly _huge_ this was, “us to get pregnant – but it is possible.”

The words lingered in the air, she let them settle and with the moment that Lucifer drew in a shaking breath she knew they finally had.

“I…”, when she turned it was to see his tongue flitting out to wet his lips. She couldn’t read in his face – it was a mash up of too many different emotions at once.

“You don’t have to decide anything right now. This is completely up to you. But I thought, you know, you should know.”

His nod seemed frantic, the grip on her hand snaring like a vice. She tried to squeeze back just as forcefully.

“And whatever you decide, Lucifer, I will be right by your side through it all.”

* * *

Lucifer had been turning and tossing back and forth and when his eyes blinked open he was actually surprised by the fact that he had managed to fall asleep to the Detective’s obnoxious little snore way past midnight. His hand slipped through the covers, searching and paused disgruntledly.

“Detective?”, his voice rasped hoarsely through the room. No response. Of course that bloody woman was already awake.

Burying his face in her pillow he took in a deep breath, let himself be lulled in by her smell trying to escape the gentle morning light. It had to be Heaven’s knew how early. The dull throb of his skull told him everything he needed to know. In the first hours of morning he cursed himself underneath his breath, but there was regret about giving the urchin his word creeping up on him. Ignoring the knot of… something lingering in his chest he slowly pushed himself up – his muscles somehow aching with a phantom of exhaustion. What was the time? Probably an ungodly hour would stare back up at him, telling him to go back to sleep. Well, he’d never been good with taking orders, had he? Sitting up he squinted at the light shimmering faintly through the curtains.

On a whim he pushed his legs over the edge of the mattress, padding through the room and pushed the curtain aside, peering out of the window down onto the path leading to the beach, only to make out Chloe’s figure wandering along the path. A morning dip in the ocean did sound heavenly.

Not bothering to get anything else, but the towel thrown over the chair by the desk he made his way downstairs, trying to get himself to stop frowning because for some inexplicable reason he feared the tension in the muscles of his face would make his headache only worse. He paused in front of the child’s bedroom, pushing the door open a smidge. The little one had shoved off her blankets during the night, but curled around Miss Alien she was still fast asleep. Letting the door open a bit further he leaned the side of his head against the door frame, trying to quench the battle of panic and hope in his heart. He had a family. At least according to the Detective. And –

_If you really wanted to have kids…_

He shook his head, gritting his teeth in order to tear himself out of it. Out of a dream – it could only _be_ a figment of his imagination, but the Detective had said it was possible. Was it possible? She would tell him to stop questioning and look it up if he didn’t trust her, but how could he look it up, when it could shatter the first construct of hope. He couldn’t… He swallowed. It was better not to dwell, not now. For a long moment he regarded Beatrice – she shifted, burying her face in her pillow, mouth hanging open as she drooled and despite his instinctual disgust he couldn’t deny it was endearing.

He pulled the door close gently, reached for a pen and the paper resting close to the cottage’s telephone and scribbled a quick –

_We’re at the beach. – L_

\- before he made his way out onto the porch. The breeze brought the scent of salt and it felt lovely as he inhaled, swallowed at the dryness in his throat. His walk down to the water was slow. He basked in the feel of sand giving way underneath his feet, finding its way into the spaces between his toes. The waves lapped at the shore, a soothing crashing and receding that he heard before he saw it. At the peak of the dunes his steps slowed.

Down by the water the Detective had paused, staring at the sea, before she shook out her hair – like whirls of molten gold in the slowly rising rays of the morning sun. The wind caught it and tried to chase it along the beach, caught in the blue fabric of her shirt. Her hands came up to unbutton and only little later it slipped from her body, exposing tanned skin. His throat ran dryer that it had been anyhow and he came to a stop – too bloody busy to take in her naked figure in front of the Pacific ocean. She stepped into the water, at first slowly, tentatively, before breaking into a swift walk, eager to submerge herself underneath the waves and not by his own violation his feet sped up as well, made their way down to the beach, to the water. Arriving, he let his towel drop at the Detective’s discarded shirt, slipped out of his boxers and followed. He’d follow her anywhere.

The water spilled in cooling waves and gurgles around his figure – he was searching for her figure. When her eyes found him a smile broke loose on her face and he didn’t need to be pulled, he went as if it was the only thing he had ever done.

_Whatever they lost – like a mother and a father, like a brother and a confidante and a love, like hope and a reason to be – it was always their selves they found in the sea_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So - again, I can only thank you for your never-ending support, for your patience, for continuing to follow Lucifer and Chloe's journey. 
> 
> Sadly, this will most probably be the last upload of 2020 and I don't know yet, when I will post the next part of this story next year.   
> Like the workaholic I am I have the tendency to burn through my ideas and to never stop until I eventually crash - so I have decided to give myself and the story the space to grow to the potential it deserves. I will give updates on my Instagram @esh_es_writes for those of you interested, but until then I wish you all a merry Christmas - for those of you who are celebrating - and a good start into 2021! 
> 
> Stay safe and healthy and again - I thank you guys for this year. Your support has allowed me to get my writing to places that I would have never reached in the time period and to this level without you cheering me on and helping me along! 
> 
> Sending you all the love in my heart, 
> 
> esh


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